Top Ten NFL Week 3 Ad Questions

10) If you have a wireless network, does that mean you can just let your pets run loose?

9) If you trade Reggie Bush for a pizza, will the pizza get hurt soon afterward?

8) How did a beer company ever have enough money to hire both Gramatticas?

7) If I shop at Lowe's, will my life go by with alarming speed in a dizzying blur of unlikely dancing?

6) Can someone please arrest Simon Cowell for littering, and then go for wildly aggressive sentencing?

5) If I use Google, will my kids age 10 years in 30 seconds in a Pixar-styled attempt to make me weep for my ever-increasing mortality?

4) If I drink Coors, will Miniature Jim Mora invade my dreams, or just make me question my sanity?

3) What kind of nightmare dystopia does Allstate think I live in, where runaway refs destroy homes and property in a Road Warrior-esque scenario of death and carnage?

2) Why does Ford think that angry Boston doucebaggery sells trucks?

1) Did National make Patrick Stewart go all Queen Mum in his voiceover, or is that just how he talks now?