Top 10 reasons why Tiki Barber is coming back

10) Intern mistresses cost money, especially when they torpedo your marriage

9) His lack of a degenerative brain problem doesn't seem so important now that everyone hates him

8) Just doesn't have the same juicy locker room gossip that he used to

7) The world is crying out for fumble-prone undersized 36-year-old running backs

6) With a lockout looming, he's eager to scab

5) Many teams are eager for his services, since it's been proven that as soon as you run him off the team, you win the Super Bowl

4) With teams seemingly interested in Plaxico Burress, convinced that the standards have dropped far enough to get a gig

3) Wants to go to Tampa so that he can play twin games with Ronde

2) When he retires again to go back into the media, he'll be praised by his media geishas all over again

1) Not sure that he's done enough to make the Hall of Fame, seeing how his legacy now is that of an adulterous locker room cancer and media whore