Blogfrica vs. Mainstream

The lead story on Deadspin and far too many other places this morning is the news out of Hollywood that veteran World Wide Lemur gasbag Chris Berman will get his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Now, the first point to make about this is that it's not exactly the honor you might think it is. There's over two dozen people that will be joining the leather enthusiast and nickname peddler this year alone, and you'd have to be some kind of showbiz whore to recognize all of the names. There's some Cirque du Soleil guy here, for pity's sake.

But the bigger point is that there's really no stronger point of differentiation between, for like of a better term, What The Casual Public Likes and What The Hardcore Fan Tolerates. To the latter group, Berman is everything that's wrong, wrong, wrong with the network: an outdated assclown (when every single cast member of Hogan's Heroes is dead, will you stop referring to it?) who makes himself the story, rather than, you know, getting the hell out of the way and letting the game be the thing. Perhaps I'm too hard on him for the annual Home Run Derby war crime, but if that doesn't make your teeth hurt with the sheer dumbness of it all, you're probably reading the wrong blog. (Or, really, having the wrong blog read to you.)

To the general public, of course, he's Boomer, the guy that's been there since they were children and beyond, the uncle you wish you had, the fun-loving soul who says all of the things they want to hear. Who wouldn't want to have a beer with this guy, especially since it will come in a place where the beer will be free and super-premium? He's going to deliver the Hall of Fame induction speech for Bills owner Ralph Wilson (conflict of interest much?), he's appeared on stage with once-popular rock bands, he shows up at celebrity golf tournaments and hosts the only NFL pre and post-game show they watch. Whatta guy!

(Though, frankly, why one would have brand loyalty to what Berman puts down, as opposed to what Fox or NBC does, seems kind of pointless to me now. They all seem to be the same product -- a forced laughter circle jerk with enough people to get up a full-court game of basketball, assuming anyone on the dais could run without falling over. But, again, I digress.)

Here's the thing: Berman's choices as a broadcaster are what you do after 30 years in the business, right? You've worked hard, you deserve more money, access, your own fame. Who wants to have journalistic integrity and separation from the people you cover? What the hell did that ever get the journalist? Bunch of penniless nobodies, those people. You don't see their names on the Walk of Fame, do you? Or on the dais in Canton.

Corruption is as corruption does, folks.

Eventually, just as the public came around on things like George Bush wasn't a very good president, opposing the invasion of Iraq, and that torturing people for information merely leads to bad information and more enemies, rather than a cool "24"-esque reveal and world-saving moment.. well, it's a matter of faith, really, that the general public will come around to see what the minority (and people who read sports blogs are, trust me, still a strong minority when compared to people who just watch sports) sees.

Basically, that Berman is a cancerous growth on the body politic of sports, and a phenomenon that will be duplicated to the detriment of actual coverage and analysis.

Because sports is the toy department, maybe it doesn't really matter if the coverage suffers. It's not life and death. But when this kind of nonsense happened in actual news journalism (i.e., when people like Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and fine, add Keith Olbermann on that as well, see if I care), it leads to inaccuracies. Trivialization. Marginalization. Dumbness. The opportunity for new players, those who aren't bought and paid for, to catch the ear of a younger audience. (And no, I don't really harbor such delusions for myself. This is just a blog that I write so that my brain doesn't explode.)

Site hero and moral compass Bill Hicks said it best when he railed against corrupt musical mediocrities; it's analogous. (And NSFW.)



So, um, congratulations, Boomer Berman. Your transformation is complete. And maybe now you can finally get people to stop moving around.