Super Bowl: Not Game Notes

 > "Lift Every Voice And Sing" is a dramatically better national anthem. Just switch it.

> Watching Dak Prescott get booed while accepting the Walter Payton Man of the Year charity award? High comedy. I love Eagle Fan, who has clearly turned this into an Eagles home game.

> I also enjoyed Fox cutting to Prescott looking like a hamster in a headlight during Sheryl Lee Ralph singing. Good look, Dak.

> Massive booing of the Chiefs. Muted stupid racist chant.

> Why Fox needed DJ Khaled to do some weird stripper hype intro, we'll never know. America! Love it or be puzzled by it!

> I missed the memo on why we needed three different songs about the country before playing a football game... but once more, Ammerica! Love it or be puzzled by it!

> Eagles head coach Nick Siriani, just weeping like a faucet. Win the game and we'll think that's fine, Nick. Otherwise... SUSPECT.

> Women fly military jets, too! Yay, woke military industrial complex!

> Menopause ads. DAMN WOKE AMURIKA.

> Harold Carmichael, flapping his arms. Yes, it's a home game.

> Eating avocados makes you naked. Don't eat avocados.

> E-Trade wants babies to be promiscuous. That sound you just heard was QAnon rising as one.

> Remy Martin requires me to listen to a weird motivational speech before drinking it. OK.

> Paramount spent 30 seconds on Sylvester Stallone sneezing. Good use of resources.

> I am out of touch. But Rihanna looks like a chaos muppet in that outfit.

> Michelob Ultra wants everyone to remember "Caddyshack." Why?

> Fine concert. Too many people will just remember it for whether or not the black female singer is pregnant. You can see what this says about our priorities.

> Electrified Jeeps cause animals to adopt human dance. This is why you should buy one.

> The biggest and wealthiest scumbags in the world were at the game, and Fox decided we needed to see them. Great.

> I like Pop Corners. I like Breaking Bad. Not sure why this needed mixing. Whatever.

> If I buy an electric truck, my penis won't work. OK.

> People who care about dogs should be eaten by wolves, because beer.