Top 20 NFL Super Bowl Ad Questions: First Half

Beer Me Badly

20) How contro- versial is it that Americans can drink their diabetes in many languages?

19) Are the avocados from Mexico laced with something that makes Jon Lovitz viable as a spokesperson?

18) Was anyone under the impression that Arnold Schwarzenegger had ever left, or will ever leave?

17) Does the future of H&R Block involve any humans being employed at all?

16) Can you open a can of Busch beer in the wilderness without being killed by wildlife?

15) Did the American Petroleum Institute spend $5 million to tell America that oil exists, and are they that scared of Big Sun?

14) If it rains paint, does that strike you as magical or something you should just open your mouth open to accept?

13) Why is Intel making Tom Brady eat off the floor?

12) Can tanks roll through every reality television show, please?

11) If dead men tell no tales, why are they making movies?

10) Was Cam Newton's poor season set up by playing against children in the off season?

9) How many of Justin Bieber's touchdown moves would have gotten a 15 yard flag, or, preferably, an ass kicking?

8) Will the Transformers sequel answer all of the questions asked by the previous movies, namely, um, who the hell pays to watch this crap?

7) Does anyone choose their laundry detergent based on some brain-damaged celebrity's inability to eat like an adult?

6) Is anyone else spooked by the Weather Grip service?

5) Did Febreze just wax rhapsodic about toilet odors?

4) What do nursery rhymes have to do with tax returns?

3) Why do car companies who make absurdly expensive vehicles bother to advertise in a mass market ad buy like the Super Bowl?

2) Is Squarespace expecting to do business for idiots who didn't reserve a dot-com domain in he first 20 years of the Internet?

1) How many companies will annoy Americans who complain that the other side are too sensitive snowflakes into a feelings-motivated boycott?