Top 10 NFL Week 3 Takeaways

Nero For Never

10) Ryan Fitzpatrick must have had the Kansas City defense in fantasy this week, because he completed six passes to them

9) Pittsburgh trailed by the most points in a game in nearly 20 years as Eagle Fan took their good fortune with patience and a clear understanding that this is just September

8) Cleveland somehow lost a road game by missing three field goals despite playing QB3 and QB4, who is also WR2, because the Factory of Sadness never sleeps or stops innovating

7) Oakland proved that they could win on the road and play defense, so long as they got to go against the Titans

6) Carolina is now 1-2 after a home loss to the 3-0 Vikings, and this doesn't so much for the Adrian Peterson is Important theory

5) Washington saved their season with a 2-point win in New York, which proved that Kirk Cousins can too beat a +.500 team, so long as they aren't much over .500, the punter executes a game-changing fake, and the defense makes a couple of saving picks

4) Green Bay got out to a big lead early and hung on against Detroit, despite their offense still not being close to right

3) Indy nearly lost at home to San Diego to go 0-3, which would have made Patriot Fan who blames them for getting caught in Deflategate to take their good fortune with humor and patience

2) Rex Ryan saved his job with a dominant performance over the Cardinals at home, because that's how he's kept the job this long. you know, despite being an utter train wreck

1) Chip Kelly got his head kicked in by Seattle despite QB Russell Wilson being unable to finish the game, while his old team went to 3-0 with their best start in forever, so, um, yeah, scoreboard, you fat lying piece of garbage