Top 10 NFL Week 1 Takeaways

Framed, In His Office, At Work

10) Oakland went for two on the road and got it, then nearly pissed away the win with a 15-yard celebration flag, because LOL Raiders

9) The Carson Wentz Era started in Philadelphia with a de-pantsing win over Cleveland, who traded away the rights to the pick that would become the QB, and then went on record with the media as to how Wentz wasn't good enough to be picked by the mighty Factory of Sadness

8) Minnesota won with a road game without resorting to Sam Bradford, or the offense scoring a touchdown

7) You can safely stop worrying about Revis Island now, especially if you are AJ Green

6) Jacksonville nearly won at home against Green Bay, giving hope to the idea that the AFC South won't be a total dumpster fire

5) Jameis Winston had a huge day in a road win, which would be a bigger deal if it weren't Atlanta, who might be just that horrible

4) Kansas City had the biggest comeback in franchise history, mostly because I drafted Jamaal Charles in fantasy, which means that Spencer Ware is now the most valuable RB in football

3) Owning Drew Brres in fantasy was awesome, because as always, the Saints defense will ensure that he's always going to be throwing it all over Creation to try to win the actual game

2) Buffalo lost, looked terrible in doing it, and got us one week closer to an inevitable league without a publicly identified toe fetishist having a head coaching job

1) Dallas nearly pulled off a comeback win at home behind their promising offensive rookies, but couldn't master catching the ball in sunlight, or getting out of bounds when they no longer had timeouts