Top 12 signs that Floyd Mayweather's career is really over

At Dodging, Well, Everything

12) Needs to avoid any sign of come- uppance, just to drive White America insane

11) Wants to start under- whelming people in other business ventures

10) Boxers never lie or change their mind about this sort of thing

9) Has eff you, your family, everyone you've ever met, and the city and state in which you live in money

8) Wants to spend more time beating up his wife and kids

7) Found himself questioning the wisdom of injecting money in his mouth guard, and when that happens, you know the fire is gone

6) Didn't appreciate the sound of crickets in his last fight

5) Has old man outrage about the belt fees

4) Wouldn't want to seem egotistical by beating Rocky Marciano's record

3) There just aren't any more guys who are five to ten years past their prime to schedule

2) God appeared to him in a dream and cordially asked him to stop dragging his name into this

1) Even he's bored by this by now