The Golden State Warriors Are Girlie Men Who Shoot Jumpers, And Other Moments Of Deep Hurting

Does Not Analyze The NBA

So the Golden State Warriors are now down 2-1 to the underdog Grizzlies, and I spent most of the entire game wondering just who the hell was in their uniforms, especially in the first half, on defense. Not to throw shade on the home team, who are truly playing very well and all, but...

> Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson went 6 for 11 from the freaking free throw line. They shoot about 90% regularly. And all of the misses hurt, as the Dubs were trying to get out of a game-long hole.

> Marreese Speights went 3 of 7 from the floor in a little more than five minutes, then got hurt, because that's just how this series is going for the Dubs so far.

> The club shot 6 for 26 from the three point line. It's only the best shooting team in recent NBA history, and for the past two games, they've missed enough open looks to make me wonder if we've secretly replaced them with members of the 2013-15 Sixers.

> Andrew Bogut gave them 2-8-2 in 21 minutes while Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph dominated, and while the plus/minus didn't call him the worst player on the floor, the eye test sure as hell did. I'm kind of hoping he's hurt, that's how bad he was.

> No member of the Dub bench, which was the best in the NBA by a fairly wide margin this year, had a positive plus/minus in this game.

The game got a little bit close for the Grizz in the second half, because their offense stalled, and there's only so many minutes that Metal Face Mike Conley can go right now... but they don't have to go anything more than win two of the next four games, two of which are at home, to close things out. They are getting the bounces and makes that winning teams get -- more than a few crazy bank shots, more than a few back-breaking loose balls and Tony Allen Hero Plays on defense -- and the wind is in their sails.

If the Dubs can't pull it together and win Game Four on Monday, probably without Speights and against a better every game Conley -- the best regular season team in decades is going home a whopping round later than last year. In a season where everything has gone their way, and against a team that, honestly, has no shot at winning it all, because they bog down on offense, don't shoot threes well enough to have a margin for error in games when they aren't getting all the loose balls et al...

And this is where math and nerdery seems to fall sway to small sample sizes and Grit, because the Dubs are said to be a Jump Shooting Team, and thereby Not Manly or Aggressive or whatever. The Grizz are able to slow the game down and play volleyball with rebounding, and that's more playoff and manly.

So the playoffs are working out just like the last 30 years, and I'm just going to go drink now, because if this somehow winds up as a Grizz-Bulls rock fight, when we could have had something far more watchable...

Well, that's not how the best playoff season in NBA history would end now, is it?