205 Drop: Top 10 upcoming Guitar Hero releases

The drop over at 205 today isn't a sports piece at all; it's a make with the funny moment in regards to the new Guitar Hero edition put out by Metallica. If you think this game will sell big units, you might want to go pick up the Aerosmith version that came out about a year ago at your local video game store. If it's not in the racks, check under the tables, as it makes for a fine leveling device.

The simple fact is that band-specific releases of the game (and I suspect, a similar moment next year when a rap-only game comes out) will always perform badly in the market, because for every Metallica fan out there, there are at least 5 people shrugging, and four others actively avoiding the damn thing.

Count me in the latter camp, by the way. Despite any number of people telling me how much I need to like these guys over the years, they just do nothing for me.

I realize that this makes me a gigantic eunuch in the eyes of the Metalli-faithful, who are still busying telling me that UFC is a promotion, and not a sport, because if I knew that, then I'd like human cockfighting.

In other news, they get the Internet in trailer parks now.

Anyway, the 205 drops are going to start verging beyond sports, especially later in the week, because that site's mission statement is beyond our usual playpen. So feel free to click, or not.

Blogrolling: You Down With Oh, Pee, Pee... Pee

Can you really break your penis? is the actual title and sum and substance of this real, actual page from Scientific American. Kudos to them for the image selection of the year on this, and by all means, go get yourself informed. The penis you save may be your own!

Nick Underhill drinks the Royals Kool-Aid. I'm pretty sure that he does this every year. Just make Greinke start every game!

Republican Answer Man Bobby Jindal is an exorcising machine. The power of Jebus compels you!

The Marbury Era for the Celtics with startlingly awful loss to the Clippers, and then a DUI for reserve Gabe Pruitt. Starbury Fever, Celtics Fan -- Catch It!

Just in time for the NCAA tournament, here's the site -- FanWagon -- that's a great directory for true-blue fan Web blogs of major colleges. Especially valuable for trash talking the opposition with time efficiency!

And finally, Punch-Out! comes out for the Wii on May 18. I predict many controller related injuries, and at least five frothing media reports with "IS THE WII KILLING OUR CHILDREN???" style headlines...

Top 15 Rejected Enhancements to Madden '08

We used to work in NoCal, and know a guy at EA. FTT's spies are everywhere! (And we just gave Tomlinson's fantasy owners heart failure with that earlier cover image.)

15. "Hot Coffee" mini-game with Tony Siragusa

14. "Black Sunday" mod where you bomb the Super Bowl from a blimp

13. Easter Egg where Michael Vick is torn apart by wild dogs

12. "Sports Guy" Mode, where all Patriot players have perfect scores, and the game comes with a protective plastic coating

11. "MNF" mode, where, no matter what you do, the game is a boring blowout and the announcers make you wince

10. "Jinx" mode, where you upload the photo of your opponent, who then suffers debilitating electric shocks through the controller

9. "Boss" level, where you must duck flatulence from Coach Madden and throw food into his mouth until he explodes

8. "Left Behind" mode, where a nation of sinful zombies must be converted away from incessant video game playing through violent, head-smashing prayer

7. "Cheerleader Fight", where competing cheerleader teams throw down and tear off each other's clothing in a long, slow-motion battle that only ends in... uh... ohh.... I'll be back in a minute

6. "Tecmo" mode, where the game becomes dramatically simpler, with much less impressive graphics, and much more fun to play

5. "Al Davis" mode, where the game is in black and white, leather helmets are worn, and the Raiders are actually good

4. "Atari" mode, where all incomplete passes go the length of the field, and the players are spooky ghosts

3. "Matt Millen" mode, where you have to play 10 WRs and the QB on offense, and the QB is a converted WR

2. "Pat Tillman" mode, where you are continually sabotaged by your own team, but the announcers just keep lying about it

1. "Unlicensed" mode -- the game costs half as much, but you have to play with Payton Maning, LaDaynelian Thomlinson and Teryl Owns, and the teams all have USFL jerseys and names