Blogrolling Thinks You Are Like Cancer

Shockingly, ex NFL RB Travis Henry is having a hard time making ends meet, due to his hobby of making ends meet. See what I did there? That's comedy, you lousy punks.

Jon Papelbon, like many in Red Sox Nation, just can't stop talking about ManRam, and compares him to cancer. Now, this is where the media fails me, really. What kind of cancer, Paps? Breast, which makes you use funny pink bats? Ass or dick cancer, like what so many people wished on you when you did your spasmodic dance routines? Heroic Jon Lester Cancer? Details, man, details. (And yes, the sound you heard was the Bad Tooth squealing with delight that another 5,000 words on what the Paps-Manny Feud Means, and what would happen if, heavens to all heavens, they actually met as adversaries on the field of combat. I feel faint.)

The real jersey purchase of our times: making your own. Screw you, jersey price gougers. Note also the Very Male Way of referring to sewing as DIY. Balls malesy DIY, oi oi oi!

Continuing on the ugly duds theme, Simon looks at St. Patrick's Day sports gear, so you don't have to.


Nick at IMS with more Joba Drama, because nothing endures quite so well as eternal Yankee drama.



Continuing the blog's newfound lease of life as All Spiderman, All The Time. I have lots more of these, people. Do not provoke me.

Travis Henry Knows How To Hit The Hole

Hat tip, The Big Lead, who found the story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

For the non-clickers, the NFL running back and borderline first round fantasy pick turns out to be the father to nine -- count 'em, nine -- kids to nine different women, in four different states. (It's OK, though. According to Henry's lawyer, he's a really committed father. You think?)

Since the only thing we care about on the eve of our fantasy football draft is how this could affect his status as the starting RB in Denver, the top 10 questions we have for this situation...

10) How many kids does Mike Bell have?

9) Is the inability to wear a condom part of the Broncos' innovative zone blocking scheme?

8) Does this mean that the real reason why Denver coach Mike Shanahan never gave the job to Tatum Bell is that... his boys can't swim?

7) In the Denver offense, isn't it true that any decent running back could father six or seven kids?

6) Are all of the kids really Henry's, or did he get vultured by a short-yardage back?

5) When drafting, do you take Henry's "handcuff", or does the queasy factor just overwhelm?

4) Doesn't this all seem like a little... overcompensation, if you catch our drift?

3) How many spawn does Jake Plummer have with him in his Unabomber retirement shack?

2) How, honestly, does Henry have time to learn the playbook, or the energy to remain upright?

1) Is he done for now, or is he determined to field a full team of 45, plus injured reserve?