There's really no rhyme or reason to this one, which means it just needs to be seen, really. (And who wouldn't say yes to a semi-intelligent subservient proto-human that may also go really well with a good red?)
Such thinga are inevitable, folks.
Oh, this is just too funny... four months after getting religion, drafting wideouts early, and having last straws pulled, guess who's come crawling back to wayward wideout Chris Henry?
Why, it's the Cincinnati Enablers, er, Bengals, fresh off injuries to their big two of TJ Houshmanzadimjiad and Ocho "Poor Man's Terrell Owens" Stinko. What's the over-under on Henry's next arrest following his celebration on rejoining the team? (I'm thinking... Friday. But it's always hard to judge how Vegas is going to go on prop bets.)
I'd like to take a small moment here to thank the Bengals for making the life of the sports blogosphere easier. Our hordes will soon be cranking up tons of "Brokeback Mountain" style "I can't quit yew!" Photoshops of both men. Me, I was going to go for a more film noir treatment, with Henry as the Barbara Stanwyck-style femme fatale, but that's why this is a relentless unpopular blog. Henry just doesn't have the hips to pull it off, sadly, though Lewis as a doughy patsy pantload is just dead on. Anyway...
When Marvin Lewis has his obituary written on his Bengal Bungling -- and feel free to start on that now, and avoid the Thanksgiving rush -- Henry's fingerprints will be all over it. (Don't worry, he knows the procedure.)
What's telling here is that in the four months that Henry has been loose (on the streets! hide the kids!), no other team has swooped in to take the talented and troubled playmaker away. The reasons why are simple: in addition to being Locker Room Poison and an Active Embarrassment, he's also just not that good. As a #3, he can make plays; ask him to do more than that, and it won't happen. He'll also block about as well as he gives back to the community.
Here's how good Henry isn't... you'd think that the Bengals' division rivals would have stowed him on a practice squad, just to make sure he couldn't come back and haunt them again. But no. As a matter of fact, no team -- not even the Raiders, who would seem required by law to show interest -- wanted him. The Browns, Ravens and Steelers *want* him back on the Queen City Convicts. It does foster a certain air of, you know, Not Winning.
This, despite Henry's public statements that he'd like to play for the Saints or Cowboys. Jerry Jones may be batshit loco, but he's not that batshit loco. As for the Saints, that team knows disasters when they see them, and felt no need to import. (What, too soon?)
Oh, and BTW... Henry doesn't even help them for the first month of the season, which is when you'd really need the guy with the injuries... because he's been suspended Yet Again.
And just to add to the (Very) High Comedy, here's the money quote from Starvin' Marvin, just a few short weeks ago, when someone asked him if the Bengals would sully themselves with First and Ten To Life...
"I'm not interested in bringing him back. I don't think (it would be) productive for our football team. You have to be a productive part to be an NFL player, and there's responsibilities to being an NFL player. It's a privilege. It's not a right. There's a lot that comes with being an NFL football player."One wonders just what the responsibilities to being an NFL football coach are... and just how much longer Lewis will know them. Buy your tickets now, Bengal Fans!
According to Peter King over at SI, Mark Cuban's fledgling football league (because, in between winning nothing with the Mavs, trying to buy the Cubs so he can entice another franchise with false hopes and bombast, and messing around with Yahoo's board to see who can bring in the least amount of shareholder value) is thinking hard about...
drum roll please...
Michael Vick!
Now, Lord knows, there will be more professional football in your life at some point. The simple fact is that every year, the public grows less and less tolerant of the eight months of dead time that the NFL makes its fan base endure. It is not the #1 sport in the US; it is the number one through three sports in the US. MLB and NBA are not rivals; they are sideshows. The country begins and ends with football.
The UFL may or may not be the league that breaks through, though, to be honest, I'm not seeing it. Friday Night Football is a fine thing for high school, but it's kind of a dead zone for actual television viewing... and that's the night that the league is supposed to play. During the fall is the best time of the year to be a sports fan, between the MLB playoffs, the NFL regular season, the start of the NHL and NBA seasons, and the sheer rush that is Q3 / Q4 and the holidays. That's also when they are planning to play.
Needless to say, this is Big Stupid on many, many levels.
A winter / spring league, in domes and warm-weather cities, would work... provided it was domestic, didn't have dippy rules a la Arena Ball,with the rules tweaked for offense to make sure that unwatchable football doesn't happen. Sprinkle in some reasonable name coaches, a few decent names (either washed-up vets that are local to their teams, maybe some good local college players), and make sure the refs are good. Finally, relax some of the nonsense rules that people hate the NFL for imposing, make it supremely tailgate friendly, cap the salaries and don't expect to make money for five to ten years... and you may have something. Given that the Cube isn't about patience or sense, it's not going to happen that way with this league, but it eventually will.
Meanwhile, Vick. Good grief. If the league is to be paid for with sports blog hits, they'll do fine. Otherwise, not so much...
Your link is here, and there's nothing quite like two home runs lost in the same week at Yankee Stadium to make everyone want to throw aside 120+ years of MLB history. And this from an organization that still hasn't figured out revenue sharing, what the hell to do with the DH, meaningful steroid and HGH testing, a Hall of Fame that gets more laughable every year (no, I'm not letting Buck O'Neill go -- it's the straw that broke the museum's back), a de facto extra farm system in Japan for MLB+ teams... but by all means, let's add instant reply for home runs.
And maybe plays at the plate.
And that ball down the line.
Perhaps that bang-bang play at first, too.
And on 2-strike calls...
Do you remember the old SNL skit "Bad Idea Jeans?" It was back when the Dockers commercials were everywhere - kind of like the Chevy "Our Country" ads today. The spoof showed guys making terrible decisions while wearing their "Bad Idea Jeans." It's time to revive that old skit with today's current events. Here are the Bad Idea Jeans moments of the week:
2. LeBron James wears Yankees hat to playoff game in Cleveland. Huh? Come on BronBron. You're too smart for that. Fine, you've been a Yankees fan all your life. You play for the city of Cleveland now. This is your family, and your family happens to like other teams despite the Cavs, like say, I don't know, the Indians. So what do you do? You go to a playoff game in Cleveland wearing the other's team cap. I only wish you played for the Sixers and went to the Phillies/Rockies game yesterday wearing a Rockies cap.
