Friday, February 25, 2022

Well, Goddamn, This Is An Awkward Time To Think About Sports: Eight Unrelated Takes

The world changed this week when a kleptocratic dictator rolled tanks into a neighboring country in the first major European land grab in 80 years, and folks? That just seems to make everything -- and I do mean everything -- a whole lot less important than it used to be. Especially sports.

But, well, not why you come here. So some quick hits:

> Until baseball declares the lockout is over, I propose that no one in America says anything about baseball. (Side point where I break my own rule: I'm pretty OK with no one saying anything about baseball after the lockout is over now, too. Every sport is corrupt plutocrats with a closet full of -isms, but MLB manages to add in increasingly unwatchable to manure melange. Three true outcomes, all of them Boring As Hell To Watch? Hard pass.)

> In Ukraine, the Klitschko brothers -- famous brothers who have made millions and presumably could have fled the country because hey, being rich means you can flee -- are staying to fight in what is increasingly looking like a much harder slog for the invaders than expected. (On top of the inevitable insurgency slog that would follow occupation.) Remember that the next time you hear about how such and such is a Great Patriot, especially in a country that hasn't had foreign occupation during the age of electricity. Skin in the game, folks.

> Several medal winners in the most recent Games That No One Should Pay Attention To are giving them up to people from countries that are at risk of, well, genocidal BS from the people who hosted the Games That No Really Paid Attention To. Now, if we could just convince the world's athletes to not go at all, we might have something.

> The NBA All Star Game happened and I don't care and didn't watch because when the game does not count, you should not watch. Life is too short.

> James Harden debuts for the Sixers tonight and I hope he's enjoying the honeymoon period. I also hope it's a very long honeymoon. Dude already looks more physically fit and happy, because anyone who gets to play basketball with Joel Embiid on his team should be these things. 

> The USFL drafted a bunch of people you have not heard of, and possibly a few that you have, especially if you are a draft or training camp nerd. Do not dishonor the uniform, Philadelphia Stars. On a per capita basis, that team gave me more happiness and less sorrow than any team I've ever rooted for, so, you know, no pressure.

> NHL star Alexander Ovechkin, a one-time Putin Pal and all-time great in the league, did not exactly deliver a ringing endorsement for the kleptocrat today. Alex, you might also want to get a new phone and email address; dude might be hitting you up for money soon. Also, prepare your own food.

> The NFL Draft is coming and I don't have anything to say about it, because life is too short to watch grifted teenagers risk their health and livelihood for underaged sports. Besides, I'm an Eagles Fan, so good players in the first round is far from a given.

See you later! Assuming, you know, the Internets still work and the world isn't a charred husk from nuclear weapons when a 69-year-old cynical kleptocrat decides that if he can't have money any more, no one else can, either.

Stay safe! As if.

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