Top 10 Sports Rapture Developments

According to some well-publicized Apocalypse types, the world's coming to an end this Saturday, which just makes me feel all kind of wasteful for having a freezer full of food, and train and subway tickets for beyond this week. But how will a sudden and irreversible loss of virtuous people impact the sports world?

10) Training staffs absolutely decimated, with several athletes actually noticing

9) Overall attendance down, but not in the good seats

8) Mass transit and parking severely compromised, with few conductors and attendants

7) Sports talk radio absolutely unaffected, refuses to notice any difference

6) Craft services limited to fast food take out and booze

5) Tens of millions of fantasy sports players realize that they've actually been gambling, and have made a tragic mistake

4) Cubs and Red Sox Nation saddened to discover that, on a per capita basis, their ranks have been no more or less impacted than the Yankees and Cardinals

3) High schools, minor leagues and low colleges lose a solid 10% of starting athletes, but precious few stars

2) Online advertising revenue drops through the floorboards, as it turns out that only the virtuous click on banner ads

1) Several sports bloggers stop writing, just to better their rep