Top 10 reasons why MLB scoring is down

Oh, OK, I know, it's all just the roids. But let's pretend there's more to it...

10) Steroids taking years to finally wash out of bodies

9) Rain is bat kryptonite

8) What with all of the Twittering, no one can concentrate on hitting

7) All of the teams now employing humidifiers, not just Colorado

6) Hitters too confused by advanced sabermetrics to know whether or not it's OK to swing anymore

5) Game no longer appeals or attracts enough African-Americans, which somehow favors pitching

4) Dave Duncan has worked with enough retreads to permanently improve the pitching underclass

3) Now that we know enough to start limiting pitch counts, we have tampered in God's domain

2) Groupies just all over the pitchers and glove men now

1) Everyone just wanted to emulate those oh-so-exciting recent Oakland A's teams