The Eagles Need To Use Boston Scott

HE IS MAGIC YOU CAN NOT SEE

Philadelphia is an 8.5 point underdog to Tampa (note: not Bay, because unless the Bucs are aquatic, that's not a place they can be from, especially since the city isn't named that) and, for, well, reasons. Tampa is the defending Super Bowl champions, they have the greatest negotiator in the history of demonic contracts ever in QB Tom Brady, they are at home, and so on, and so on.

But that's not what this post is about.

Now, you might think that by reading this headline I'm calling for the Eagles to rely on their top-ranked running game, #1 in the NFL. Especially since many of us have T-shirts older than QB Jalen Hurts, and the game is forecast to be played in a monsoon. 

Nope, not that either.

OK, maybe it's just an indictment of RB1 Miles Sanders, who has had ball security (sounds awful, and I'm just glad that it hasn't come for me, even in middle age) issues, and is just coming back from a broken bone in his left hand. Presumptive RB2 Jordan Howard hasn't looked like his mid-season form after a "stinger" injury, and Scott's recent work has shown he may have the hottest hand of the room. (Yes, yes, there's some fans of rookie RB Kenneth Gainwell, who has a truly great name for a running back. I am talking about, of course, KENNETH. Just rolls off the tongue.)

Sorry, not that. We're going to flip over all the cards and reveal why Boston Scott needs not just the majority, but all of the possible touches in this Sunday's game.

It's because Scott, like John Cena but much more magical, CAN NOT BE SEEN.

Don't believe me?

Well then, you must have not been watching NFL football for the past three decades and more. I have, and have been told by any number of analysts that when a running back is small -- and not super-small, just four to six inches of height and 30 to 50 pounds of weight less than most of the other players -- he simply BLINKS OUT OF EXISTENCE like a magical creature. Scott may occupy 90 to 95% of their mass, but that 5% is critical, especially when he's near much larger teammates who will never carry the football or need to be tackled.

It's not that Scott is fast, or elusive, or the Eagles are very good at run blocking. 

It's that he is Magically Smaller. 

Somehow, only on positive runs. 

On negative plays, Scott can be seen and tackled.

So, give him all of the touches, and trust in The Magic, people.

Three decades of saying a stupid thing can't be wrong!

(Update: The Eagles lost, but Scott scored a touchdown. VINDICATION.)