Hooray For Nelson Agholor, Who Won't Be Charged By The District Attorney

Darth's An Agholor Fan

Today on the not sports sports news wire, news that Eagles 2nd year WR Nelson Agholor is going to skate on an (alleged) sexual assault case.

Why? Not an exoneration. Not a case where something was judged to be consensual, or a case of mistaken identity, or some other point where we can all feel good about rooting for the kid in his quest to not be (yet another) Nero Kelly washout draft pick.

Nope, instead it's just that the DA lacked sufficient evidence, and won't be going to bat for a dancer at a strip club's accusation that the man did something awful when they were alone. (Oh, and Nelson? Kudos for going to the strip club with teammates, because that's not kind of creepy in the least.)

A final word about this, because it's telling... part of the, um, fun of the Nero Era was hearing how the man was sure to enforce a locker room of moral and upstanding people. The reason why players like DeSean Jackson and Evan Mathis had to be run off for no return on investment was not that they made good coin and were drafted by Not Nero. It was that they just were not Team First, and that degree of Uppity just would not be part of the balanced breakfast of Winning Football in Nero World.

Now, I'm just a guy with a memory and decades wasted on the laundry, with (God willing) decades more coming. I have no idea what degree of uppity one can manage with, with the basic opinion that some is probably inevitable, given the ridiculous numbers that a man is going to have to fade to get into the NFL in the first place, let alone star there. Perhaps having a well-functioning team dynamic is really worth taking on lesser talents, or passing on plateau players. We'll never know.

But what we do know is this. Nero wanted to take Dion Jordan, from his Oregon days, rather than Lane Johnson in the 2013 draft. Jordan has one sack in his NFL career to date to go with three suspensions, the latest for the entire 2015 season, and the NFL hasn't reinstated him yet. Johnson is the Eagles' best offensive lineman, and signed an extension for cause in the off-season, as soon as Nero was run off.

Nero also went all-in on DeMarco Murray, who sulked his way out of town, and Sam Bradford, who reacted to competition for the long-term QB job as if he were too good for such things. Nero also kept Riley Cooper, who alienated the locker room with drunken casual racism, and hasn't been mentioned in NFL circles since being cut by the team six months ago.

Character! It totally matters. Even more so for the people doing the picking of players than the players, actually.