Top 10 reasons why Boston is out of the Olympics running

Thieves, Thieves, Thieves

10) Area is now just smart enough to avoid a massive scam

9) For once in the history of American sports, taxpayers won't foot the bill for stadiums they don't want or need... because for the most part, the sports played in the Olympics are not American

8) IOC's apples were not sufficiently how, or about

7) Now that America's enemies do not show up and compete in the Olympics, we really could not give a rat's nethers about them

6) Boston is deferring to Los Angeles, because that's just how the world works (this one is in here just to troll Celtic Fan, which is to say, we're trolling the trolls)

5) Area politicians were not willing to give up the perfect and pristine traffic patterns

4) Too many Olympic events do not have balls with a variable amount of inflation (this one is in here just to troll Patriot Fan, which is to say, we're trolling trolls that other trolls look down on)

3) After the past decade of non-stop obnoxiousness after winning that has made every other area of the country hate them, just didn't have the heart to expand into track and field and crap

2) Making good basketball players come to Boston is just so passe

1) Like anything else that didn't work out just how they wanted, it's somehow New York, ESPN, or the NFL's fault