Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Dear Media, In Re Marshawn Lynch Et Al

I'm Super, Thanks For Asking
We, the general public, do not give an ounce of figgy pudding (festive!) about how Mean Old Marshawn Lynch does not answer your locker room questions.

We, the general public, do not care what Mean Old Marshawn Lynch (or Arian Foster, or anyone else who regards the media as the worst part of his job that he can't see the point of dealing with) says.

We, the general public, do not really care what ANY athlete says, so long as it's not actively changing the betting line, or his chances of providing fantasy sports goodness.

So...

Lynch doesn't want you to be there.

We don't want you to be there.

You can't want to be there, seeing how he's clowning you, and giving you nothing of actual use.

So...

Um...

Why are you asking him a question, especially when there's a room filled with other people who might actually answer you?

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