Top 10 reasons why the Knicks signed Kenyon Martin

The cast of "Cocoon" or the Knicks

10) At 35, has the youthful enthusiasm that the rest of the roster lacks

9) Richard Jefferson was not available, in that the Warriors are surprisingly still employing him

8) Jason Kidd says good things about him, along with hard candy, thick socks and soft food

7) He gave the Clippers the edge they needed to lose in the second round last year

6) The fact that every other NBA team has failed to employ him all year just means that he's hungry, or some such stuff

5) He loves winning even more than he loves thuggish fouls and wince-inducing tats

4) Since he's been around forever and is something of a transient at this point in his career, has already played with half of the roster

3) Finally gives them a guy that will let the refs know when he feels he has been wronged

2) Necessary hire to make that inevitable Celtics playoff series just about the ugliest thing you've ever seen

1) He makes fully half of their active roster over 35, which has to set some kind of perverse record