Monday, August 2, 2010

Top 10 NFL Summer Camp Takeaways

The pre-season games have not even started, but the news from the NFL is still dominating Blogfrica, because no one likes baseball anymore. Here's what you need to know from the Silly Season...

10) When tragically under-reported Cowboys WR Dez Bryant got hurt, the injury was reported not by the doctors or coaches, but by owner Jerry Jones, who kept a 24/7 candlelight vigil

9) The Redskins are giving first team reps to WR Joey Galloway as part of their plan to utterly dominate the league in 2005

8) San Diego has decided to prick the bubble that is "Phillip Rivers is a great QB" by playing hardball with WR Vincent Jackson

7) The new turf at the new Giants Stadium is suspected of playing a role in the season-ending injury of Domenic Hixon, which would have never happened at the old Giants Stadium

6) Steelers QB Ben Roethlisburger anxiously awaited whether his "No Breathtakingly Sordid Scandal In Days" program would get his suspension reduced

5) Rookie RBs Ryan Matthews, Montario Hardesty, Ben Tate, CJ Spiller and Jahvid Best were all discussed way too damn much for the comfort of fantasy owners that, dammit, knew about them in college

4) Fans in Buffalo tried to convince themselves that the QB competition between Ryan Fitzpatrick, Trent Edwards and Brian Brohm, the upcoming monstrously cold winter, raging regional unemployment and their overall track record of doom weren't all excellent reasons to off themselves

3) Donovan McNabb's eternal Philadelphia detractors prepared multiple stories in advance of the season, so that, no matter what, they could continue to scapegoat him in the manner to which they are accustomed

2) Showing bravery, spunk and more pure grit than the rest of humanity combined, Patriots WR Wes Welker rehabbed an injury

1) The league showed unprecedented concern and preventive measures for head injuries while working to extend the length of the regular season

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