All Hail Our New Japanese Overlords

In the WBC tonight, Japan 9, USA 4, and your WBC Final will be Japan versus the South Koreans.

Now, you might want to credit Daisuka Matsuzaka for the win, and give props to the electric relief work of Yu Darvish; the latter, especially, is hardcore. But that's really not in the tone of the blog, so here's your Top 6 Goats...

6) Derek Jeter. A crucial error that led to the Japanese explosion in the sixth inning, which made a manageable 4-6 deficit into the 4-9 final. How much longer is the statute of limitations on Jeet being clutch, anyway?

5) Adam Dunn. His career as a National can start now with the proper feel, as his deer in the headlights strikeout in the ninth gave this the perfect Terence Long-ish moment. He also took the Oh Fer Sucking Out Loud tonight with three K's, and there's a reason why beer league guys that sabermetric freaks drool over aren't, you know, actually present on teams that win championships. The faster this guy gets to an AL team and a DH role, the better.

4) David Wright. Also had an error to go with his perfect A-Rodish CYA RBI double and .281 average. No one will point the finger at him, but for a guy that's clearly the best third baseman in MLB as people draft today, they needed a lot more than this.

3) Roy Oswalt. Betrayed by his defense, but you're going to get that with 7 baserunners in 3.2 innings, and four of the six runs were earned. His 9.82 WBC ERA was indicative of the biggest reason why the Americans aren't going to win this year, and probably won't in the future, either: starting pitching. When Akinoria Iwamura is beating you senseless, it's not good.

2) Jake Peavy. A 14-run ERA that was so bad, manager Davey Johnson skipped him for Oswalt. Any post mortem of the US effort in the WBC will begin and end with the Mercy Rule Meltdown against Puerto Rico, and that was all on Peavy.

1) Davey Johnson. Has been just dying to pull the trigger and forfeit due to various injuries. His decision to go for Oswalt over Peavy didn't work out tonight, and why anyone on this earth would have Jeter at shortstop and Jimmy Rollins at designated hitter, in a game that you are supposed to want to win...

Well, dumb managers get what they deserve. And it's not like anyone is giving Johnson a job at managing in MLB now. For every really good reason.

A Small Note to the Lemur's Coverage of the World Baseball Classic

Yes, it's amusing, shocking, amazing or all of the above when Team USA loses on the mercy rule to Puerto Rico. (And yes, kids, this officially puts me deep in the black of finding things to fill the bloghole with today.)

No, it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with us as a country that we're not giving this august experience the prestige and importance that it deserves. And the same goes for the Olympics, or the Little League World Series, or any other short-series experience that you can name.

What it means, really, is that Baseball Is A Funny Game, prone to all kinds of low sample size weirdness. If the worst team in baseball somehow found itself into the World Series against the best team, it would win a third of the time.

And that's just factual, really; it happens every year in MLB with top teams struggling against crud teams. Greatness is determined over time and at bats and innings and lots of them, and while jumping to conclusions is fun, it also leaves you looking real silly real fast. Consider the case of the mighty Cubans, who were being written up as clearly the best team in the WBC before today, when they went down meekly, 6-0, to the Japanese. I caught their act today, and it looked like they didn't have a single player who was at all interested in working a pitch count. (It also doesn't mean that Japan, with their 0.79 team ERA, is a clear next best pick; that's a lineup that's utterly devoid of power.)

Are the Americans prone to treating the WBC as Spring Training in different uniforms? Of course; they should. Will there ever be a truly meaningful international event in baseball, a la the soccer World Cup? Well, maybe, but if so, it won't be an annual event that happens in March; it'll be a lot more involved than that, because it will have a heckuva lot more countries involved.

And if you need to rail against a country and their culture for what happens in a short series sports event... well, that just says more about the writer than it does the event. It's not such a good thing, either.

Epic Drop: Top 10 Next Moves For Josh Howard

This link is much more understandable after you view this YouTube clip.



And now that you know... enjoy the link that's equal parts slamming an idiot in Josh Howard, and the other half slamming the state that he lives in and the times that we endure, in that the Union is clearly threatened by a nonsensical moment from a nonsensical player. (Oh, and bonus points to Mark Cuban, who thinks this whole problem can be blamed on... you guessed it, cell phone cameras and YouTube. Cube's brain isn't what it used to be, folks.)

Epic Drop: Top 10 Next Career Moves For Michael Phelps

Here's your link, and seriously... there's nowhere else to go but down for this guy.

I'm also loads of fun at parties, what with the sunny outlook on life...

Nice sportsmanship

I'm not much for the Olympics, but I always love me some bird flipping. Nice work from NESW on the more true version.

To The 48 People Who Care About Chris Kaman Playing For Team Germany

Shouldn't you be more worried about getting your car off the blocks in front of your trailer, whether you'll still be able to afford corn for the moonshine still now that the prices have gone up, or whether Luanne is gonna have the baby?

(Seriously, if Chris Kaman -- Chris Kaman! -- is the difference between gold and failure for the Redeem Team, you all can come shoot tin cans in my backyard. Failing that, um, STFU...)

Update... the US pulled off a 106-57 squeaker against the Huns. Kaman came off the bench to give the Kaiser 6 points, 4 boards, 4 turnovers and 2 personal fouls. Germany is 1-4, and not liable to get a medal of any sort. And the number of people who cared about Kaman playing for the Hessians just dropped to... well, the Kaman Family, I'm thinking. Moving on...

Epic Drop: Top 10 Escalating Moments of Sports Fan Independence

Your link is here, and remember... freedom is just another word for Up Yours, Limey Bastards. Preferably with liquor and explosives.

Japanese Tourists Are Prepared

H/t, With Leather. And as funny as this is, it's also a little sad, really, because this is how the US is viewed now. A US version would have "I no vote for Bush", "I don't have a car" and "Please don't vengeance torture me." (I keed, I keed. What American does aerobics or learns a foreign language?)

Epic Drop: Our Long National Nightmare Is Over

Unfortunately, the perfect Simpsons clip (Homerpalooza) for this column is not on YouTube. It's where two kids are talking to each other, and the one says, "Were you being sarcastic?" to which the other responds, "I don't even know anymore..."