Obvious But Fun

Plus, it shows up KanYe as being a white boy, which I'm pretty sure we can all agree on at this point.

205 drop: Top 10 least-loved MLB promotional giveaways

Your drop today has one item that's in highly questionable taste, and that's not even considering the highly unseemly thought of Manny Ramirez eating a home pregnancy test. Comedy ain't pretty, people. Go click and see where I've offended.

205 Drop: Top 10 most annoying sports fandoms

The top spot in the list today won't surprise any regular reader of the blog, but with any luck, it will be an equal opportunity cheap heat generator, because hey, that kind of thing is important.

There's also one more thing to say about this topic, which is that it's an entirely modern phenomenon. With the rise of Road Fan (and who can blame them, really, considering that airfare, hotel, rental car and front-row seats to see a top MLB+ team on the road is less than just going locally) and the Internets, we're all putting up with Other Fandoms more than we used to, and that's not going to go away anytime soon.

I am nothing if not cheery, kids.

Anyway, go click and get offended.

205 Drop: Top 10 conclusions from the Manny Ramirez suspension

Today's list of snark concerns a little-known outfielder for the Dodgers, some guy by the name of Ramirez. It's a little surprising that he doesn't get more press notice, having been suspended for 50 games for violating the league's drug policy, but I suppose once this story happened to JC Romero, it's all old hat. Anyway, go click...

205 Drop: Top 12 ways to fake an interest in the NHL Playoffs

Today's list of snark plays on my 20-year-old knowledge of the NHL, a league that I used to geek so hard on, I used to organize Strat-O-Matic tournaments over it, and started my own pre-Internt stat league. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, says Geek Thug Life like running a league before the Net, and yes, this was The Before Women Era. How did you guess?

Anyway, I used to know everything there was to know about the league, to the point of winning the dork crown (and paying for my Steve Yzerman jersey) three years in a row. So what happened? Well, all sports viewing went away for a while in the '90s when music was my unpopular side career choice (rather than, well, this), and the NHL did everything they could to become less relevant to my life. Dull games -- the New Jersey Devils' "zone trap" alone made the game unwatchable -- work stoppages, crazed cable money grabs (you can still make old-time NHL fans shudder with the words "Sports Channel") and the worst management decisions ever made by a purported major league made me question why I was here, and if I really had to stay.

When a hockey game is low-scoring, it can be fascinating... but it can also feel like the outcome is more or less random. No player in any sport has more impact on a game than a hockey goalie; if he's terrible, you lose no matter what, and if he's great, you win no matter what. Most of the time, the games aren't decided by the difference between the pipes, but it happens enough of the time, and kept happening to my Flyers, to make me wonder why I watched or care.

Being a Flyers fan also didn't help, as it meant my team would routinely kill my hopes in the post-season and make me hate management (Bobby Clarke, the player, good -- Bob Clark, the GM, horrifying) and my fellow fan. People talk about Philly Fan as if he's always the same guy, but he really isn't. Sixer Fan is not Flyer Fan is not Phillies Fan is not Eagles Fan; there is a different mix of defeatism and rancor that ratchets it up the line as you move away from sports where both teams have to play well to make it watchable for anyone but the laundry enthusiast (basketball, hockey), to activities where domination by your team isn't ever boring (baseball, football). This makes your fan base more or less tolerable to be around, in my opinion.

Anyway, as the blog has now greatly exceeded its yearly quota of NHL talk and given hope to the folks who are desperate for any non-NBA post, go click and enjoy the cheap heat already. With any luck, I'll have Canadians insulting me soon enough, because it's just adorable when they try to do that...

205 Drop: Top 12 ways to improve the NBA Playoffs

Today's list over on 205 welcomes the return of the NBA playoffs, that 40-day crucible of entertainment where the expected happens, and yet demands viewing anyway. Beyond the snark on the site, I'm genuinely excited, if for no other reason than to see if anyone in the Association actually has the stones to stand up to the James Train.

What normally happens in the NBA Playoffs is that the team with the best player wins, mostly because hoops at the highest level involves getting lifelong alpha dogs (which is to say, every player on an NBA roster) to subvert their ego and do the grunt work. That includes giving up your own stats to devote all of your energy to stop the other team's key offensive player, run through or set picks against the same guys you've been running into for the better part of a week, take charges and get on the ground for loose balls and all of the other things that don't show up in a box score.

The way for the team with the lesser star to win is be less selfish about, well, everything. That also includes giving up your good reputation to thug it up (what, you think Bruce Bowen enjoys being hated?), if need be. But the problem with thugging James is similar to thugging Shaq in his prime; the man's just (much) more physical than the people trying to bring the wood. He's also been such a good teammate that when you try it, you better have teammates that have your back, because the Cleveland bigs are just waiting to prevent your crime.

That's why the Cavs are the presumed champion; they just don't give you much of an opening to overcome their advantages. But they aren't the champion (yet), and if the Celtics can get healthy in the long and easy opening round, they could take four out of seven using the same system they did last year -- having stars (especially Paul Pierce, but also Kevin Garnett) that are willing to play as role players. When the Celtics had to take Game 7 last year against James, it wasn't with Tony Allen, Leon Powe or the departed James Posey taking the train on; it was Pierce. My guess is that he'll try to do it again.

In the West, you get feel-good regular season stories like the Nuggets and Blazers against time-tested teams like the Spurs and Jazz, which should provide rooting interests for casual fans who are tired of the same-old same-old. It all seems like a sideshow to the Kobe Koronation, especially if the Lakers can work Andrew Bynum into effective minutes. There's also the possibility that a dark horse team (my favorite: the Hornets, though some people will get fooled into the eternal tease that is the Rockets) could go deeper than they should and make people forget that Kobe just has the horses this year.

But that's what the NBA Playoffs are: a relentless grind that almost always winds up with the best player holding the trophy. You watch to confirm what you know... and part of what you know is that the best basketball in the world is worth watching, no matter how predictable the outcome.

205 Drop: Top 12 old-time MLB traditions that didn't last

Today's link stars longtime blog obsession Carl Mays, pictured here in the middle of his windup. I want you to imagine being an MLB hitter. Now, take away the helmet. Next, play the game without the benefit of artificial lights, with games frequently extending into the twilight hours. The next move is to exchange your clean new regulation baseball for the same ball being used for the entire game; if it goes foul, fans throw it back in. Step four is to have the infielders and players on both teams mark and scuff the ball to their heart's delight, for the benefit of their pitcher, especially if they get an early lead.

Finally, put it in the hands of a monster like Mays here, who was one of the hardest throwers in the game. He'd come at you underhanded, and was a thoroughly unpleasant son of a bitch, in that he frequently led the league in hit batsmen.

Oh, and add this little bit of knowledge to the table: in 1919, Mays *killed* a guy on the field, Cleveland's star shortstop, Ray Chapman. He also got to stay in the game, still pitching like that, for most of a decade. He won championships for the Red Sox and Yankees, and was a teammate of Babe Ruth.

I guess what I'm saying here is that when your grandfather tells you that you punks have it too soft, believe him.

Oh, and click the link for some of my finest race-based humor in many a moon. I was feeling ornery, children. Special points to anyone that can successfully point out the real ones amidst the Kom O 'Dee...

205 Drop: Top 10 sports complaints that make you sound old

Today's link helps you be a tiresome crank that's filled with youthful piss and vinegar. Later on, it'll just be vinegar.

Oh, and just because my brain always plays this routine when we're close to the holiday, and I clearly need to double-dip on the sacrilegious when I seem to be one of the 50% of people actually going to work today, albeit on the slowest train of the month... here's the more than occasional word of wisdom from site hero Bill Hicks. Happy holiday!

Rabbit talk

From the frequently great Web comic "Medium Large." Worthy of a bookmark, and your continued patronage, especially if it keeps your wife away from late nights at the book club. (And yes, if you click on the images, the pictures get big enough to actually read. Kind of.)

205 Drop: Top 10 sports I will never care about

Today's list is chock full of hate and derision, and with luck, I'll get seething comments of outrage from Lacrosse Guy, because that's just my kind of fun. Seriously, is there any sports fan or player more irritating than Lacrosse Guy? You can just smell the entitlement and self-righteousness coming, can't you? I'm like a kid at Christmas over this, and that doesn't even count the hope that Rugby Fan or Women's Basketball Creature will get into the fun. (Not much hope for arousing the ire of Nascar Fan, though -- they are all too busy making sure the bunker is stocked now that Obama's in charge.)

205 Drop: Top 12 signs that you really haven't been following baseball

The drop today is for you, provided your head is swimming with the numbness of trying to get caught up in the upcoming MLB season. Especially since the brave new world of MLB involves the Phillies being terrible, and baseball being played during snow.

Yes, it's snowing outside as I write this. I can't tell you how much I miss California...

205 Drop: Top 12 signs your favorite MLB team isn't serious about winning

The list today at 205 will make you wonder why Opening Day matters, or maybe just make you think of "Boom Boom" Tommy Hume.

OK, maybe that's just me. (And damn, Hume was better than I remembered.)

The Steelers Get One For The Other Other Thumb

This is fantastic on many levels, but it assumes that any Steeler Fan is thin enough to have sex. Somewhat NSFW, and I'm disappointed that they didn't get into the smaller Asian sizes popularized for Hines Ward. Do not miss.

Finally, Packer Fan Embraces The Cleansing Power of Fire

You have to love people who, when truly upset, say words like "Malarkey" and go for the gas tanks.I haven't seen Tom Petty used this well since "Silence of the Lambs." Bonus points for the Fathead, but the fact that the dog didn't relieve himself on the pyre keeps this from True Greatness...

Rather than watch the Olympics...

Go check out the goodness at Medium Large. It's got as much relevance to sports, and you won't feel as corrupted.