Our Eight Year National Nightmare Is Over

No, this isn't a political post. But thanks for thinking it...

Today in Beijing, the US Olympic squad put order back to the universe with a close but not absolutely terrifying win over the Spaniards. The Games served as a coming back party for Dwayne Wade, who led the way today with 27 points and seems to be ready to end that single-year futility in Miami.

Perhaps the close game in the Final will convince some folks that Olympic basketball is now an even keel kind of thing, and that the US should not just be expected to roll over the world. But the simpler fact of the matter is that as long as there is an athletic gap between us and the rest of the world -- i.e., when the nasty dunks and alley oops are all coming from guys wearing the US laundry -- the public expectation will remain that we should just wipe the floor with these guys. Despite the fact that, well, basketball is about more than jumping well, and the NCAA tournament proves that every year.

For now and the future, we should think of the US Men as a #1 seed in a single elimination tournament, in a game that the world is increasingly interested in playing. Within my lifetime, we might not even be the #!1 seed any more.

(Oh, and for anyone that really feels relief and pride and amazement over this, um, get a grip. It's just hoop.)

This week's proof in the Beavis God

(Note: This blog's author believes in a Supreme Being that has the intellect and humor of an idiotic 12-year-old boy -- to wit, Beavis. If you disagree, please explain why Judiasm, Christianity and Islam all had to be born in the same zip code, the duck-billed platyplus, and the human knee. Holy war, Butthead. Cool. Heh heh.)

1. StubHub.com, aka eBay for ticket scalpers, bought by eBay for $310 million dollars. So the 'tards that have been killing you with fees and charges just got hundreds of millions of dollars for their genius. Capitalism: the worst economic system ever, except for all of the other ones.

2. Tony Kornheiser, retained by ESPN for MNF next year. Can they also bring back Christian Slater, send Sean Salisbury over to my house to expose himself, or would smashing my head in with a brick be enough?

3. Jason Kidd alleges that his (soon to be ex) wife came to the stadium and heckled him from the stands. And yet, the media fails to tell us what was said. I haven't felt this let down by the media since they didn't disclose what Naked Detroit Lions Coach got when he went through drive-through, and how he paid.