Citizens Bank Phillies Radio Ad Meeting
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| Meeting Come To Order |
Media Buyer: What's the target market we're trying to reach here?
Account Lead: Dead-end rideshare drivers that we're trying to torture into insanity, hospice guests who need a shove, and people who are trapped under something heavy.
Media Buyer: OK, so the usual sports radio market. Should we make more than one of these?
(Entire creative group shudders)
Account Lead: Um, no, and I've got a TikTok feed I need to get back to which I'm classifying as research. Any ideas?
Creative Lead Who Has Never Watched Or Listened To A Baseball Game In Their Life: I'd just like to point out that I've never watched or listened to a baseball game in my life.
Account Lead: As have we all. What's your point?
Creative Lead: Well, I did watch three minutes of "Moneyball" on a plane six months ago, and it seemed like people who watch baseball seems to like statistics.
(Entire group shudders)
Account Lead: This TikTok feed isn't going to watch itself. What's your point?
Creative Lead: Well, we could say that Citizens Bank aren't just fans -- they're fanatics. And as fanatics, they would care about things that hardcore baseball fans care about.
Media Buyer: You mean like who is the most effective pitchers and hitters?
Creative Lead: No, like how many square feet of grass there is, and that Citizens is obsessed with things like sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds are, I believe, required for proper baseballing.
Media Buyer: I'm going to go back to my laundry.
Account Lead: I like it, in that I stopped listening 14 seconds ago. You have enough for a 30-second script that we can play on heavy rotation and help cause people across the Delaware Valley to snap?
Creative Lead: Yes. We'll get a Sassy Black Woman to voice it so that we can pretend out industry is diverse.
Media Buyer: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
Account Lead: Good idea. Should we vet this for sanity against anyone who actually listens to baseball games?
(Entire group laughs)
Creative Lead: That's so funny!
Account Lead: Good work, everyone. See you in 12 months.
Media Buyer: Hey, before we break -- should we do a refresh of the Rothman Orthopedic spot?
Account Lead: What's the body count at?
Media Buyer (checks tracker): 8,027.
Account Lead: Ping me back when we get to 10K.
Creative Lead: We're getting pretty darn good at sitting!
(Entire group laughs)
(camera pans back to see pooling blood, fades to black)
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