Top 10 NFL Week 12 Ad Questions

10) If I buy Christmas presents from Target, will I become an incurable douche bag, a wildly oversexed senior, or some other form of social pariah?

9) Why did Chevrolet accept government bailout money when Santa Claus is an employee?

8) Will using Old Spice cause everyone in my world to fragment and fall apart?

7) Is anyone else a little insulted by the idea that Vince Lombardi equating football with battle should be used for an ad praising the military?

6) How does Southwest's baggage handlers throwing penalty flags help anyone?

5) Why is Honda selling cars to pre-pubescent Asian girls with reckless driving issues?

4) When Chrysler tells us that its cars are imported from Detroit, doesn't that imply that Detroit is a foreign country, and does anyone from the rest of the U.S. have a problem with that?

3) Are Wal-Mart's shoppers all odd trash talkers that are operating under the delusion that anyone cares about their shopping status?

2) Now that the NBA lockout is settled, can Nike stop shining spotlights on random Americans?

1) Is Jared the choice for gap-toothed closet cases?