Top 10 Reasons Why Andy Reid Won't Panic

I don't know about you, but I for one was pleased to hear Coach For Life's encouraging words in today's press conference. So what's he seeing in the 1-4 Eagles that the rest of the world isn't?

10) He's confident that now that he's told his offensive players to stop turning the ball over, two weeks after chastising himself for not being reckless enough, everything will work out fine

9) Excited by the fact that this week, special teams didn't kill them, so that's progress

8) Knows that when you've got guys like Michael Vick and DeSean Jackson, ball security is not going to be a lasting issue

7) Donuts still exist, and cheesesteaks, and ice cream, and secret refridgerators

6) Still has those photographs of Jeffrey Lurie with Howard Eskin, a horse, three dead children and an oxygen tank

5) Knows that as soon as he goes to all of those high draft picks that aren't even good enough to be active, the team will find its way

4) Certain that opposing teams will get bored of those tiresome five-plus yards per running play any minute now, since only the unstylish win football games that way, darling

3) Knows that he's only a handful of plays away from having an artificially good record en route to a playoff beatdown, which is all that this franchise cares about anyway

2) Believes that if you panic, you're more likely to make bad decisions in the two minute drill, poor use of timeouts, say the same things over and over again and in general, inspire about as much confidence as a binge eater at a self-serve dessert bar

1) He's Coach For Life