Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Yes, Quite

From the special needs PR people who write the Sixers e-mails (I do love them -- they're an excellent source of unintentional comedy)...

76ers President and GM Ed Stefanski announced this week that the team has signed free agent guards Kareem Rush and Royal Ivey. Both add solid defense and a threatening long-range shot, while Ivey provides an additional option at point guard.
Emphasis mine.

Now, I don't much care who the Sixers sign to cut in training camp; it makes no difference to me, the NBA, or anyone outside of the eight people in the world who care about summer league records. But, um, why bother putting them into a press release, and why call their outside shots "threatening"? What, exactly, is being threatened? The backboards? The rims? The eyesight of casual onlookers?

If Ivey or Rush could shoot at an NBA level, they wouldn't be the basketball equivalent of Kelly Girl Temps. If either plays more than 200 minutes of regular season play this year for the Sixers, it means that Andre Miller has gotten hurt, Kevin Ollie has been put down for humane reasons, and the team has ceased to resemble an NBA franchise or, well, basketball. That, my dear Stefanski, is the threat. (Or, if you prefer, the threatening.)

No comments: