Finally, the Olympics get interesting

By now, I'm sure you've heard the news out of Paris (and yes, I love writing that just to cheese off The Truth) that protesters were successful in dousing the Olympic flame on four separate occasions as it makes its path to China for the 2008 festival of shame. Jon Stewart does the honors, especially around the 1:51 mark. Wow.



Elsewhere, some have called for a boycott of the opening ceremonies, as if that were any kind of meaningful act, really. But before this one slides into the next round of protests, check out these following jaw-dropping quotes.

“The general public is very angry at this sabotage by a few separatists.” -- Wang Hui, some mouth jobber who draws a paycheque from Paris's Olympic organizing committee

Actually, very angry is kind of overselling the point here, ol' Wang. For the most part, especially once you've reached "Daily Show" notice, it's gone beyond anger and straight into ridicule.

“Violence for whatever reason is not compatible with the values of the torch relay and the Olympic Games." Jacques Rogge, chairman of the IOC

Um, wait a minute. Wasn't the point of the Games originally to give the tyros in Sparta, Athens and the 'burbs a chance to let loose their testosterone in sport, rather than combat? Anyone who thinks violence has nothing to do with the Olympics has never seen an IOC member who didn't get their bribe... or, as Stewart notes, hasn't read the history of the torch relay, started by Adolf Hitler.

San Francisco gets this mess next. Make us proud, hippies!

Roids From Column A, Veterinary Drugs From Column B

The United States Olympic Committee will ship over 25,000 pounds of lean protein to China, rather than feed its athletes from entirely local sources, under the rationale of preventing its members from testing positive for steroids from eating contaminated food from the locals. The USOC is also concerned that local food is subject to high concentration of insecticides and illegal veterinary drugs.

There's a million questions that arise from this one, really, but I'll stick with four...

1) Doesn't this just make you even more interested in China for the Games? Wait, the dollar isn't as worth as much, either. Go book your travel plans now!

2) Assuming this isn't just some PR ploy, how do the Chinese athletes avoid testing for steroids at every instance?

3) Between the contaminated food, the rampant pollution, and the fact that the regime is planning on firing freaking rockets in the air to stop rain... not to mention Tibet and Falun Gong and Tiannemen Square... can we just rethink ever having an event in China again? (Besides, the site traffic from our Yao Ming post was crap.)

4) Seriously, the athletes are supposed to go to China for several weeks and not eat Chinese food?