Top 10 NFL Week 4 Takeaways

Even In Europe

10) Buffalo shut out the Patriots, who have no reason to think that their offensive problems will go away soon

9) Indy and Jacksonville spent three quarters boring the living hell out of a UK audience, then scored a bunch while still being kinda boring

8) Julio Jones went for 300 yards (!) in the Falcons' win at home against Carolina, who don't miss Josh Norman at all

7) Brian Hoyer and Jordan Howard seized the Bears' starting QB and RB jobs with strong performances in a win over the Lions, because you want to make your starting lineup decisions based on who can beat the mighty Lions

6) Seattle shook off its usual early eastern road game woes in a 10-point road win against the Jets, mostly because QB Russell Wilson refuses to stay hurt

5) DC got to .500 while still not looking very good, as Cleveland managed to turn the ball over and lose despite controlling the line of scrimmage

4) Oakland went to 3-1 in a 1-point road win over Baltimore, in a game that really went a long way in establishing which team is the bigger fraud

3) Houston shook off the loss of DL JJ Watt in a 7-point win against the Titans, who continue to turn Marcus Mariota into just another guy who doesn't do much

2) Cam Newton picked up a concussion in a goal-line collision, leading a nation of cuckolded Panther running back owners in fantasy to snort as one

1) More guys took knees and raised fists in what your old and bitter relatives took as a sign of the coming apocalypse