NFL Week 17 Picks: Drink Irresponsibly
Posting before days away from screens, which are Good Days. Use responsibly, and drink with abandon. And with that... on to the picks!
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NY JETS (-3) at Buffalo - While it would be the perfect LOL Jets Fail to lose the playoffs now that they are in the driver's seat, the Bills are just too beat up. I don't think the Jets are going to beat a good team in the playoffs, but Buffalo's not good.
NEW ENGLAND (-10) at Miami - Still wondering if the Pats threw the overtime intentionally to get the Steelers out of the mix last week. No such weirdness this week. The Pats tend to struggle in Florida, but not this year.
NEW ORLEANS (+4) at Atlanta - Just a feel pick here, that the Falcons will be checked out after being eliminated by Minnesota's win on SNF.
Baltimore at CINCINNATI (-9) - I'm still shocked that the Ravens won last week with QB4, but the road is different.
PITTSBURGH (-11) at Cleveland - Browns could be playing who the hell knows at QB, and the Steelers will come in angry and throwing after last week's turdfest. They've got no one to blame but themselves.
Jacksonville at HOUSTON (-6) - Interesting game among two teams that, if you rolled their offense and defensive units together, would be downright intriguing. I'm going with the home team, because I think they are sneaky good on offense, and the Jags can make anyone look good there. Besides, home helps.
Tennessee at INDIANAPOLIS (even) - Does either of these teams still have something that resembles an NFL QB? No, didn't think so. Home team coin flip, and they still have a prayer at the playoffs, right?
Washington at DALLAS (-3.5) - DC will rest starters, Dallas will win with running and defense, and anyone that watches of their own free will should get checked. For Mind Problems.
PHILADELPHIA (+3.5) at New York Giants - Green matches up fairly well, and will come in like the denizens of Oz now that the Big Bad Chip Is Dead. It helps that Blue has a terrible secondary and crippled pass rush. Shootout game to make bitter fantasy honks even more bitter. Oh, and the loser goes to London next year for a road game with an easier schedule, which means the loser wins in a big way, but no one ever thinks that hard in advance.
Detroit at CHICAGO (even) - Adam Gase, the Bears OC, is a hot name in coaching searches, and wants to make sure he stays that way with a rousing close to the year.
Tampa at CAROLINA (-10) - Panthers need the win to wrap up the first overall seed -- rough year in the NFC -- and Tampa doesn't have the d-line consistency to take it away from them.
Oakland at KANSAS CITY (-7) - Chiefs still have stuff to play for, and a home field edge. They are also a paper tiger team that will lose earlier in the playoffs than expected, but you knew that already, what with Andy Reid coaching them.
San Diego at DENVER (-9) - Big escape win for the Broncos on MNF, and now that the heat is a little off and they are in the playoffs, staying on point with Actually Best QB On The Roster Brock Osweiler will matter. Also, the Chargers are DOA. That helps.
SEATTLE (+6.5) at Arizona -- Just think the line is too wide, and the world is over-reacting to last week. Red has played some great games recently, but they tend to regress when Seattle's around. This is a field goal either way kind of contest, and it wouldn't shock me if it's just round 2 of 3.
St. Louis at SAN FRANCISCO (+3.5) - Just don't think the Rams will care enough, and it's not like their offense travels.
Minnesota at GREEN BAY (-3) - The winner of this game gets a much harder game, because the loser will go to DC and beat the Racial Slurs... but neither will feel that way, because they both know that winning the NFC North is the ceiling for this season. I just don't think the Packers can be helpless in back to back weeks.
Last week: 6-10
Season: 127-106-3
Career: 745-738-48
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NY JETS (-3) at Buffalo - While it would be the perfect LOL Jets Fail to lose the playoffs now that they are in the driver's seat, the Bills are just too beat up. I don't think the Jets are going to beat a good team in the playoffs, but Buffalo's not good.
NEW ENGLAND (-10) at Miami - Still wondering if the Pats threw the overtime intentionally to get the Steelers out of the mix last week. No such weirdness this week. The Pats tend to struggle in Florida, but not this year.
NEW ORLEANS (+4) at Atlanta - Just a feel pick here, that the Falcons will be checked out after being eliminated by Minnesota's win on SNF.
Baltimore at CINCINNATI (-9) - I'm still shocked that the Ravens won last week with QB4, but the road is different.
PITTSBURGH (-11) at Cleveland - Browns could be playing who the hell knows at QB, and the Steelers will come in angry and throwing after last week's turdfest. They've got no one to blame but themselves.
Jacksonville at HOUSTON (-6) - Interesting game among two teams that, if you rolled their offense and defensive units together, would be downright intriguing. I'm going with the home team, because I think they are sneaky good on offense, and the Jags can make anyone look good there. Besides, home helps.
Tennessee at INDIANAPOLIS (even) - Does either of these teams still have something that resembles an NFL QB? No, didn't think so. Home team coin flip, and they still have a prayer at the playoffs, right?
Washington at DALLAS (-3.5) - DC will rest starters, Dallas will win with running and defense, and anyone that watches of their own free will should get checked. For Mind Problems.
PHILADELPHIA (+3.5) at New York Giants - Green matches up fairly well, and will come in like the denizens of Oz now that the Big Bad Chip Is Dead. It helps that Blue has a terrible secondary and crippled pass rush. Shootout game to make bitter fantasy honks even more bitter. Oh, and the loser goes to London next year for a road game with an easier schedule, which means the loser wins in a big way, but no one ever thinks that hard in advance.
Detroit at CHICAGO (even) - Adam Gase, the Bears OC, is a hot name in coaching searches, and wants to make sure he stays that way with a rousing close to the year.
Tampa at CAROLINA (-10) - Panthers need the win to wrap up the first overall seed -- rough year in the NFC -- and Tampa doesn't have the d-line consistency to take it away from them.
Oakland at KANSAS CITY (-7) - Chiefs still have stuff to play for, and a home field edge. They are also a paper tiger team that will lose earlier in the playoffs than expected, but you knew that already, what with Andy Reid coaching them.
San Diego at DENVER (-9) - Big escape win for the Broncos on MNF, and now that the heat is a little off and they are in the playoffs, staying on point with Actually Best QB On The Roster Brock Osweiler will matter. Also, the Chargers are DOA. That helps.
SEATTLE (+6.5) at Arizona -- Just think the line is too wide, and the world is over-reacting to last week. Red has played some great games recently, but they tend to regress when Seattle's around. This is a field goal either way kind of contest, and it wouldn't shock me if it's just round 2 of 3.
St. Louis at SAN FRANCISCO (+3.5) - Just don't think the Rams will care enough, and it's not like their offense travels.
Minnesota at GREEN BAY (-3) - The winner of this game gets a much harder game, because the loser will go to DC and beat the Racial Slurs... but neither will feel that way, because they both know that winning the NFC North is the ceiling for this season. I just don't think the Packers can be helpless in back to back weeks.
Last week: 6-10
Season: 127-106-3
Career: 745-738-48
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