Monday, February 3, 2014

The New Way To Win

Over Before It Began
The way of the NFL is this: once you win, everyone imitates how you did it. And since Seattle won tonight, and did so with the force of a sledge hammer, over and over again, I wanted to point out a recurring pattern in this game.

Denver came in with the best WRs in the game, and a QB that's very difficult to sack, with a quick and accurate release, and unmatched pre-snap reads. So what Seattle did was simple, elegant, and brutally effective. They disguised no coverages, they sent no blitzers, and they beat the living hell out of anyone who caught the ball. Immediately, if not sooner, and in so doing, they more or less set up an impossible honey trap for Denver to resist, especially when they took the early lead on Denver mistakes and their own remarkable effectiveness on third down conversions.

DeMaryius Thomas was open all night; he caught 13 passes. But he almost never caught them down the field, because the standard rush for Seattle was getting close enough to make deep throws worrisome, and the outstanding Seahawk safetys let the corners play as aggro as they liked. And oh, man, everyone on that damned team can run like wolves and hit like hate. How many times did you see a linemen get back into coverage and end a screen, or punish a crossing pattern?

All year, Denver has made hay from crossing patterns and pic plays, particularly when either Thomas (the WR or the TE) got one on one. Then, they'd use the physical mismatch and exploit it for big gains, and when you overplayed that, you got Wes Welker moving the chains in the middle or Eric Decker getting the deep ball, and Knowshon Moreno gashing you up the middle. But with Manning avoiding Richard Sherman on Decker, that took the options down a lot... and when you have Kam Chancellor and Earl Thomas blowing the hell out of guys looking for picks/blocks to get free, the willingness to sell out for those plays goes right out the window. I'm not saying that Denver got alligator arms in this game, but I am saying they got a lot less good at making people miss. Pain will do that to you.

How should Denver have attacked it? Well, the usual way to deal with overpressure is screens and draws, and the line was just outstanding at getting back to disrupt the former, and the latter didn't hit for anything tonight. You can also try quick hitting deep balls, flies and back shoulder throws, or try to do more innovative things with the running game (end arounds, since the read option isn't working with Manning under center). If I was the Denver OC, given the physical nature of the Seahawk secondary and the likeliness that you were going to get the better of the refs tonight, I'd have tried multiple deep balls to try and draw flags, the way that San Francisco was able to get some success. I'd have also tried some (any?) double moves to see if I could get separation that way, or run it enough to let play action be effective.

Instead, John Fox pronounced himself happy with the way his team was moving the ball, but displeased with those pesky turnovers that was ruining everything... as if the Seahawk defense wasn't just lying in wait with the occasional blitz package (easier to do after the first quarter, when it became obvious that Sherman had made Decker invisible and impotent), or that sustaining long drives while behind was something you should want to do. We'll refer to this in future football textbooks as the Andy Reid Losing Gambit. But I digress.

Oh, and I'd have kicked the damned field goal at the end of the first half, rather than try to force a long conversion. The first points of a game are important, even if a defense feels good for stopping the touchdown, because the longer you go with that goose egg on the board, the more everyone tries to do too much. Witness Thomas' fumble that was one of a series of killshots for Orange tonight, or how sloppy Denver's tackling got in the second half, when punching the ball loose and coming up with a miracle play took precedent over simply getting the receiver to the ground.

None of this really mattered in the long run, of course: Seattle is just in a different tier from everyone but San Francisco, and the Denver team that showed tonight would have had a hard time beating any NFC playoff team. But they might have kept it a game for a little while longer, and done more to salvage the candidacy of Manning as something more than a regular season pinball machine with a shockingly poor playoff record.

Because the dirty little secret about Manning as a QB is that it also means that you get Manning as an OC. And Manning the OC did Manning the QB absolutely no favors tonight...

Anyway, back to the main point. What you are going to see now is part of the pendulum swing back to defense. The Seattle way -- rush the minimum, allow no YAC, punish the WR -- is problematic, in that it requires you to find and train up low ranked DBs through the draft, since no team can just go out and buy guys like this in the market. It also requires great GM work, since DBs are fungible and FA bait; the fact that Seattle is a young team is not the best evidence of their dynastic tendencies. The best instance of the latter for that is the idea that Russell Wilson can do more and will do more, and since he was a third round pick in an environment that artificially degrades his stats, he won't be able to drive huge dollars for his own deal right way. Offense is more consistent than defense, and the most successful franchises build around the former more than the latter.

But oh, man, when you win with defense? It's just satisfying on every level, with aspects of domination that you just don't see in football any more. Seattle had plenty of room for error tonight and used them; witness the early red zone trouble that didn't come back to haunt them at all. This game could have gone for 8 or 12 quarters, and it wouldn't have helped Denver. On this day, with this personnel, they were outclassed and they knew it. You only really get that kicked in and helpless feeling from a dominant defense feeling its oats, and I gotta say... I'm envious of the year that Seahawk Fan just had. This just feels like the first of others, that they are starting a 5-year-run where the championship always goes through them, and how no one in the league is going to have more fun rooting on their team.

All of that can go poof in an instant, of course; they need injury luck (unlikely given how hard everyone hits), continued stellar coaching (after the league raids them to promote assistants and coordinators), strong GM work (hard with the lowest pick every round and the cap eaten up by guys who now have rings) and perhaps most worrisome of all, discipline (less PED work, please). You are better off betting the field and not by a little, and honestly, the Niners weren't that far from beating them last year.

But, well, the Niners have spit the bit twice now, and the Seahawks have rings. The Niners have a defense that's a little older and, with the injury to Navarro Bowman, not as good. Seattle has better WRs if (and it's a big if) Percy Harvin can stay healthy, and better RBs. You also have to wonder if maybe Wilson is a better idea than Colin Kaepernick under center, if only because it's hard to see the former trying to beat Richard Sherman in the end zone with time, timeouts, and downs all staring him in the face.

We might have the makings of a dynasty here. And it's the first one to do that with defense in, well, forever. (Yes, I know that defensive teams like Baltimore and Tampa have won recently. They also were freely regarded at the time as pretty fluky; Seattle was the number one seed and ran the table.)

And I don't know about you, but I like the idea of being able to build for more than a one and done situation based around random chance turnovers and passing game over-reliance...

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Super Bowl Ad Questions

Wooja Wooja
> Do I have to be willing to risk my life with strangers to enjoy Bud Light?

> Are Doritos eaters all stoned and stupid?

> Do I have to be way too into cow sex to drive a Chevy?

> If I use TurboTax, do I have to hate watching teams that aren't mine?

> Does Ellen DeGeneres hang out with furries, or does using Beats by Dre just turn you into one?

> Radio Shack still exists?

> Does using GoDaddy make you impossibly reckless with your career choices?

> If I use the wrong cell phone provider, will I become a jobless loser, like Tim Tebow?

> Will the new Transformers movie have explosions, or will it finally answer all of the questions posed by the previous movies in the series, that being "Will there be explosions"?

> Why do German engineers want wings?

> Stephen Colbert can sell anything, right?

> Why does Coca Cola hate English?

> If I use Sonos in my home, will I cause infertility from rampant radiation?

> Do Toyota drivers hallucinate about puppets?

> Can anyone tell me what Alex and Ami sell, or how spending $4 million for 30 seconds of not telling me what they sell helps them?

> If I buy an Audi, will I be encouraging beastly mutations?

> Did Goldiblox learn anything from their last foray into copyright infringement?

> Is Bob Dylan dying of some expensive disease, or is he selling his music for no good reason at all?

> Can't the Agents Smith stop a simple freaking Kia?

> Does Honda have so little to sell that it doesn't even show a car, rather than just Bruce Willis getting groped?

> Can Fox and Budweiser do something for more than just one soldier, or is it all about making one guy's day?

> Do the sleek Jaguar bad guys also know how to change the Jaguar's oil from the inevitable leaks?

> Can Scarlett Johansson care any less during her SodaStream ad?

> Does Doritos promote bondage among the underaged?

> If animals drink Budweiser, does it make them fall in love outside of their species?

Super Bowl Takeaways

Waah Waah
> Manny Ramirez decided he really needed to be known worldwide

> If you had safety for the bet on first points scored, you now own Costa Rica

> WR Percy Harvin is all kinds of unfair fast, at least compared to the other Seattle WRs

> I've never seen a late hit on a touchback before, but the ref's idea of curtailing Seattle is special

> S Kam Chancellor makes me envious, highly, of what Seattle Fan gets to see

> Anything close to grounding is now subject to ten seconds of speculation post play

> CB Champ Bailey waited a long time to get to a Super Bowl and get roasted

> Denver's John Fox likes to waste challenges just as much as Seattle's Pete Carroll

> Denver LB Nate Irvin saved four points on a perfect ball

> Seattle S Earl Thomas could have been an Eagle, which is going to make me sad for the next decade

> Without the recovery of RB Knowshon Moreno's fumble, this might have been a runaway... one play earlier than it was

> Chancellor's pick was a pretty bad Peyton Manning duck

> Denver had 11 yards in the first quarter, which is a sentence that seems more than a little impossible

> Harvin's success clearly makes things better for RB Marshawn Lynch, and he finally punched it in to stop the red zone problem

> After 16 minutes, it's 15-0 Seattle, and starting to look a lot like 20th century Denver SB appearances

> Chancellor going down on a kickoff return is all kinds of bad, but he seems OK after getting up

> Seattle covers bubble screens with pain

> On third and two inches, Broncos WR DeMaryius Thomas nearly gives back a first on another bubble, all kinds of telling

> Manning to WR Wes Welker on a third and nine is a good protection against blitz moment for Denver

> It's clear from a lot of game time that Manning is avoiding CB Richard Sherman so far

> LB Malcolm Smith on the TAInt is all DE Cliff Avril's doing, and wow, it's 22-0 after 27 minutes

> KR Trindon Holliday's fumble might have been the killshot, but it's overturned on review

> The Denver passing tree looks Detmer-esque so far

> Thomas with a back shoulder catch for 18 was a rare moment beyond dink and dunk

> Denver goes for it on fourth and 2, rather than break the shutout, and it's incomplete and wow

> Odd play calling by Seattle to not just run it at the end of the first half, but to do it quickly, but Carroll's always been conservative

> Broncos K Matt Prater executed a pop up kick perfectly, but Harvin broke it anyway, and that should be that -- 29-0 one play into the second half

> It's not just that Manning is missing, it's that everything is short and he's missing

> Manning nearly got Moreno killed for six yards

> Sherman nearly got a pick, then got crunched and had to leave for a play, proving he's going to get on TV even if Manning rarely throws near him

> Manning checked down to a 3rd and 10 draw, rather than get further embarrassed by this defense

> Fox punted down 29 with 26 minutes left, rather than get further embarrassed by this defense

> Seahawks WR Jermaine Kearse with the five-man pinball survival score, and this has entered the realm of '80s Bronco Travesties

> You have to love the Andy Reid-esque insistence from the Broncos to continue to call nothing but shallow crosses into murder hitters

> Manning to Thomas cuts it to a 30-point game and really cheeses off all of the Seahawks fans that were dreaming about a shutout

> Welker for 2 makes it a 4-score game at the end of three quarters, so I guess this is still mathematically possible

> Fox calls for the planned onside kick to start the fourth, because, um, why not

> WR Golden Tate gives up a first down dancing for no good reason

> The numbers aren't going to show it, but Wilson's been spot on all night

> Wilson to Baldwin might get the QB the MVP after all, it's 43-8, and the Denver faces are just helpless

> Avril nearly picked a ball by just standing up and looking for the 4-yard cross

> Sherman leaves on the cart with 11 minutes left, leaving America safe for post-game

> RB Montee Ball can't make a play on fourth and 2, not that anyone but him is going to remember

> Wilson with Scamper Power to try to add to his MVP cred

> I gotta say, I kind of love an old-fashioned really bad SB with lots of Sad Eli Face

> That's as early a Gatorade shower as you will ever see

> I'd say something about the last 30 minutes of this game, but as it involved Tarvaris Jackson, there's really no point

Brief and Obvious Points About People Who Watch The Super Bowl For The Ads

It Takes Two
They are on YouTube. (Which will make you watch an ad before showing you an ad. How annoying!)

They will be shown, for the most part, over and over again, throughout the rest of the year.

Just because they are appearing in a highly rated program, and cost a lot of money to air, does not make them special or nifty or something that you need to discuss.

If you are the kind of person who likes to talk about commercials, you might want to, I don't know, stop talking.

Unless you work in advertising, and not just advertising but the special and unique world that is TV advertising with nearly unlimited production budgets, there isn't a single thing that you will see or hear from these ads that will be useful to your employment.

They are, in fact, the same ads that you'll spend 364 other days this year trying to avoid, either by getting up and going to the bathroom or kitchen when they are coming on, or by DVRing with a fast forward.

And so long as you keep watching them, and keep talking about them as if they were culturally meaningful or relevant...

You are helping to continue the ridiculous bubble that makes $4 million fees for 30 seconds of commercial time, which is eventually reflected in the higher costs for, well, the stuff you buy.

In other words, and I'll slow this down to make sure I'm being understood...

You. Are. An. Idiot.

And You. Are. Being. Conned.

(Ah, don't mind me. I just work in a form of advertising where you actually have to prove the stuff works, rather than just win awards for your cleverness or views of your fart joke, so clearly I'm just jealous...)

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Super Bowl Pick

I Would Buy This Merch
Denver vs. SEATTLE (+2.5)

The case for Denver: Historically high performing offense, with the best and deepest group of skill players in many years. Offensive numbers may actually be under-reported, given methodical pace of play. QB Peyton Manning is a clear Hall of Famer with a legacy opportunity. Team has shown the ability to just go into overdrive and become unstoppable on offense, and is much better at overcoming a deficit than Seattle's more run-driven attack. Special teams have been explosive, and the defense is playing its best ball of the year. Has more or less dominated their two earlier playoff games against teams that have relied on a power running game. Have a probable coaching advantage, since HC Jon Fox has been here before; have a definite advantage in personnel experience, since Manning has won a Super Bowl before. Without getting too far down the rabbit hole of conspiracy, will get the better of officiating; they have all year and have been more disciplined than Seattle.

The case against Denver: Champion of the weaker conference, with a much easier schedule to get here. Defense has shown clear problems with opposing passing games, especially if they don't get heat on the QB. Haven't had to deal much with mobile QBs, and they are about to face one of the best in the league at that. Manning can be turnover-prone. While distraction is a clear nonsense factor for the most part, many Broncos seem to be moving on after this game, with multiple retirements and releases hinted at. Fox has crapped the bed before with too-conservative play-calling. Offense hasn't faced anything like this secondary, and could get dominated to the point where the speed pass rushers get to Manning. While the weather isn't expected to be a particularly strong factor, cold and wind isn't terribly conducive to an aging QB with occasional arm strength issues. RB Knowshon Moreno has moved into more of a timeshare as the season has moved forward, and while backup Montee Ball has more talent, size and explosiveness, he's also been more fumble-prone.

The case for Seattle: In SBs where the best offense faces the best defense, the best defense has won three of four prior matchups. Offense is significantly less turnover prone and can make this a time of possession frustration experience for Manning. If they can get production out of WR Percy Harvin to go with surprisingly competent secondary threats Doug Baldwin and Golden Tate, this offense has another dimension just when it needed it. Secondary is just incredible, with big hitters that are also fundamentally sound at tackling, and they even pick balls off. Special teams don't beat them, and the entire team plays with fire and emotion that can make one good play turn into ten with a quickness.

The case against Seattle: Just a different team away from home, and while this is basically a neutral site game that might swing their way, they just might not bring their A game to NJ. Wilson played a great game against a terrific defense with San Francisco, but was shaky at best against New Orleans, and will need to be as good here; that's a lot to ask from a second-year guy who doesn't get many early down chances at easier yards. Offensive line has been injured much of the year, and not as cohesive as you would hope. Could have easily lost at home against the Niners; defense in particular struggles late in games and can get gassed when the speed pass rush stops getting to the QB. Offense is prone to slow starts.

The pick: Well, Seattle was my preseason choice to win it all, and while I wavered a little in the face of what appeared to be a peaking Niners team, it's not like I was completely off the bandwagon. The NFC was a *lot* better than the AFC this year, so much so that I'm wondering if we could just have an old-time awful game from the last century. You kids don't remember this, but it used to be the SB was usually a terrible game, with multiple Buffalo homicides, or the Chargers or Patriots getting curb stomped by teams that seemed to be drawing from an entirely different talent pool, especially on defense. Free agency and more uniform scouting has made these games mostly go away, and you can also pull in your favorite conspiracy theory here, but the plain and simple of it is that every game doesn't have to be a classic, and every game that's expected to be close, well, isn't. That would seem to favor Denver, who seem much more likely to get a quick score and then run off and hide, but this Seahawk defense did nasty things to Drew Brees and the Saints... and, well, the Bronco offense is pretty Saint-like at its core. I can see a late score that makes the game seem closer and more interesting than it really was, but in the final analysis, give me young and mobile over old and crafty, and in something of a shock to the nation's advertisers, Russell Wilson over Peyton Manning.

The prediction: Seahawks 31, Broncos 24

Last week: 1-1

Playoffs:
5-4-1

Year to date: 119-129-10

Past Super Bowls: 3-4

Career: 487-501-39