Sunday, September 11, 2011

Saturday in St. Louis

When situations allow it, I like to take the Shooter Mom to away Eagles games, despite the fact that we're 0-2 in this so far, and I'm 0-4 in seeing games with my laundry anywhere, or with anyone. It basically gives us both a chance to go have a day in a city we've never been in, and it's what I can do for the woman's birthday. I've spent 30+ years trying to find something to do for the woman's birthday; taking her to games fits the bill well. This year, that's Kickoff Weekend in St. Louis; I'm writing to you from the hotel room.

The flight to STL, even on the weekend of the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 debacle, was pretty easy going out. We left on time, got in early, and were able to find the Metrolink light rail connection from the airport to the downtown hotel pretty easily. It's a bit of a dicey ride, as it goes through some fairly tough looking neighborhoods, but in broad daylight and surrounded by other obvious Road Fan types, we never felt out of sorts.

The Shooter Mom has an employee benefit that allows her to stay for a reduced rate at various hotel chains, which led to a night across from the new Busch Stadium, about a half a mile down from the Edward James Dome. We checked in, asked the concierge for a restaurant recommendation, and wound up at Carmine's, an outstanding steakhouse within walking distance of the hotel. After too much food, we decided to check out the Braves-Cardinals game, with a 6:15 local start time.

A few points about Busch; the Midwest is just awfully friendly. I realize this is not news, but still, it's pretty nice to encounter. We were early to the game, which allowed us to see a procession of heartstring tugging moments. In less than half an hour, the Cardinals trotted out an MS kid in a wheelchair, a marching band of war veterans in front of a section of war veterans in fatigues, the sibling of the MS kid, and firefighters, all to honor 9/11 or some such stuff... and then closed with, I Am Not Making This Up, a herd of Mary Kay salespeople in pink Cadillacs, with the winning sales people for the year getting driven out, and the losers left to trudge through the outfield dirt and wave to the baffled crowd.

Now, consider the marketing meeting that was involved in this point... MS Kids, Soldiers, Firefighters and *then* the Mary Kay menagerie. The mind reels. As does the sympathy for the poor staffer who had to walk alongside these creatures and make sure they didn't trample the grass.

Then the game began, and the Cards took a quick lead over our old friend Derek Lowe, who can die of pancreatic cancer and still make me feel nothing but scorn for the Crotch Grab Oakland ALDS Moment. He's got the worst body language this side of Brad Penny, and despite sloppy defense from the Cardinals and Albert Pujols (and in case you are wondering, The Machine looks about as enthused about playing out the string here as Lowe does doing, well, anything), the home team took a quick 4-0 lead in a briskly played game.

Which became slower and slower, and made eventually intolerable by the presence of a nonstop yammering Cardinal Fan Girl (well, she was dressed that way at least) who sat behind us and used up all of the oxygen in the stadium talking about anything *but* baseball. In the middle of the fifth inning, she broke this impressive streak by noticing that Chipper Jones was not, in fact, playing. By the time the seventh inning, the third hour of baseball between two teams we didn't care that much about, and the presence of kids with gesticulating cotton candy and exploding soda bottles... well. no mas. We left near the Stretch with the Cardinals up 4-3, and yes, they held on for the win. With this and the Phillies continued mastery of the Brewers in Milwaukee, the Cardinals hopes are actually starting to spark a little. I hope they can make it a race; these people are nice, so is their stadium, and the world needs more pennant races.

We headed back to the hotel so that the Shooter Mom could get some rest, and I then took a walk down to the Lumiere, the "upscale" casino that's inside the city limits, with a poker room. There, I found a $1/$3 table (it's what they do here, rather than $1/$2), and sat down for 3 hours or less of cards with a $100 starting stake. Things started tight and card dead, but a semi-bluff into a nut flush brought me back to the starting stack. Then the matrix got downright weird, as I got Ace-King off suit on three straight hands, winning just one of the three. At 80% of my starting stack, I started to catch cards, with a pair of 3s turning to trips and boat on the turn and river, and a caller having an unfortunate flush. Nice; I'm off and running, and not likely to get felted.

Then a bluff works out, and Big Slick doubles up as I wind up making a high pair hero call against air. That guy left angry; it's the kind of experience that makes me not like playing in casinos, but I do like his chips. Queens got paid, and with all kinds of chirping chips and a limping pot from the big blind, my 2-5 suited flops the wheel nuts and the board gets no better for the guy that calls. When it's all said and done, I've paid off my plane ticket, dinner and the baseball game, and I'm running back to the hotel and wondering if my laundry is finally going to break the curse tomorrow for me.

In other words, double your bet on the Rams.

More tomorrow, or when I get some more computer time and a Wifi signal...

Friday, September 9, 2011

Top 10 Saints-Packers Takeaways

10) You can still return kickoffs for touchdowns, especially if you wait to return a ball until midway through the third quarter, when the coverage teams have fallen asleep from the ridiculous new kickoff line rule

9) This wasn't exactly a cheerful game for Ryan Grant owners, seeing how James Starks looked better on just about every carry

8) Lost in the wash of this game was how Mark Ingram looked a lot better than Pierre Thomas, and how you probably don't really want to rely on either

7) If you drafted either of these defenses in your fantasy league, you're probably not real happy

6) On some level, you have to love Saints TE Jimmy Graham's FU championship belt TD celebration

5) Now that the Packers have a dynamic kick returner, they could be good

4) You've never heard a NT from a team that gives up 34 points get more love than BJ Raji did tonight

3) As good as Aaron Rodgers was tonight, Drew Brees was actually better, seeing how he did more with less help and more of a pass rush

2) This just in: Saints PK John Kasey is old, and you will need to hear about this before each and every kick for the rest of his professional life

1) Between not kicking the field goal or giving Drew Brees a chance to tie the game on the final play, Sean Payton gave me a lot of hope for out Reiding the Eagles coach in a playoff game

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Top 10 Takeaways from Peyton Manning's Surgery

10) This would have never have happened if there wasn't a lockout

9) Due to the drop in advertising effectiveness during NFL games, a "double dip" recession is assured

8) If Kerry Collins leads the Colts to the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning's detractors will explode with glee

7) The guy that owns him in your fantasy league is really, really hoping that the guy who doesn't pay attention accepts his trade request

6) If you want to own Dallas Clark, Pierre Garcon, Reggie Wayne or Austin Collie, operators are available

5) Colts' home tickets on StubHub are sprouting up like mushrooms on the East Coast

4) There is no truth to the rumor that Peter King, Tony Dungy, Joe Buck and a dozen other media geishas are all eating Haagen-Dazs by the gallon and weeping right now... since that ice cream actually comes in pints

3) With this development, the NFC has officially passed the AFC as the superior conference

2) From the amount of coverage this has been getting, you'd think the Colts actually still mattered

1) On the plus side, he'll have a lot more time for Saturday Night Live skits

The Year Without A Pennant Race

Tonight in Phila-delphia, Russ Gload completed a 4-game sweep of the second place Braves, giving the home team a 10.5 game lead and reducing their plainly absurd magical number to five. Meanwhile in St. Louis, the Cardinals got a shutout effort from Chris Carpenter to draw to 8.5 of the first place Brewers, and 6.5 games of the wild-card Braves. In Colorado, Arizona nailed down a come from behind win to take a 7-game lead on the reeling Giants.

In the American League, things are a little better, in that we have one actual pennant race between the Rangers and Angels, who are separated by 2.5 games. The Tigers lead the Central by 9 games, and the Yankees and Red Sox are doing their annual It Doesn't Matter race to see who gets home field in a second-round matchup that won't happen. Woo!

And if your pulse isn't quickened by any of that... you are not alone. Honestly, unless the Braves fall apart in the next week or two, there isn't going to be a moment of suspense in the National League for the last two weeks of the year, and in the AL, you are hosed unless you've got Rangers or Angels.

So every fantasy league championship is going to be left up to a bunch of AAAA guys, the season records are going to be compromised, and even fewer people outside of MLB+ markets are going to even remember or care about the end of the season.

Which means that, of course... we're going to have more wild card teams, and soon. More mildly over .500 teams in the playoffs, which are pretty much random chance in the small sample size anyway. Way to go, Bud!

And all of this makes me wonder... at some point, can't we just cut the franchises down to the 12 markets that still pay and care, and just roll back the national television deals?

Top 12 reasons why the Jaguars cut David Garrard

12) Wanted him to go upstate to a farm where he can get fresh air and exercise

11) Got a really good line on the Texans winning the division

10) Seriously, he had three INTs in practice. No, seriously.

9) You get very few chances in this world to give a McNown a starting job

8) Garrard kept making that axe chopping move when he thought Jack del Rio wasn't looking

7) As the Byron Leftwich Experience shows, this is just how they do things in JVille

6) Short of a Maurice Jones Drew injury, this is just about the only thing that would get the team some publicity

5) Would rather lose 12 games with a white guy than 10 games with a black guy

4) By releasing Garrard now, they save $9 million in salary, which is to say, more money than the franchise is worth

3) If they had kept him, they wouldn't be able to get close and lose to the Colts, regardless of whether or not Peyton Manning is active

2) They really wanted to make this move last year, but McNown got hurt before he could prove that he's also horrible

1) Garrard might have prevented Blaine Gabbert from starting the second half of the year, which McNown never will