Sixers - Heat Game Four: James Goddamned Harden

 > With the game and series in the balance and the Sixers unable to get the ball to Joel Embiid, James Harden just started raining down 3s. Shots that haven't been made while he was in the laundry for the most part. Shots after he played his worst quarter of the playoffs in the first. With real fire and passion. It was bad offense and what happens in the fourth quarter in playoffs and scary and glorious, and he probably made himself an unreal amount of money from it. For everyone who has been ready to throw dirt on this guy, you can all go piss off now. A lot.

> Every playoff game, I dislike the opponent a little more. Kyle Lowry is an absolute fraud in every sense of the word, just a man who has no NBA skill left outside of grifting. Trent Tucker's very existence is a foul. I'm glad they got Markieff Morris off the bench, just so Embiid could block him down into the Earth's core. Max Strus looks like every punchable wrestling heel, and his eyebrow game is straight out of a Republic serial. Ye gads, no wonder Miami only has two fans.

> Fine Danny Green night tonight, with a signature deep 3 in transition where he, of course, missed the free throw after. He's a special collection of insanity.

> I thought Doc Rivers coached a reasonable game tonight, with the sole exception of going back to Embiid too soon in the fourth. The Sixers grew the lead with the big man on the bench, and the offensive sets did not get better with him back on the floor so soon. But then Harden decided, um, screw it, I got this.

> One of the best Tyrese Maxey moments ever tonight in this one, the bullet pass from near half-court late in the clock to get a Tobias Harris dunk. Remember, he's 21 years old. Good Lord.

> For Miami, a Jimmy Butler game for the ages, aided and abetted by Embiid buying pump fakes like they were bitcoin. I get that he's good and a friend, Joel, but let's push him out to the line and make him try that ugly 3 some more, please.

> Another day, another night with a howling miss from the refs. Harris was lucky to escape serious injury from a Bam Adebayo arm to the throat, and nope, not even noticed. Hell of a game you were missing here, gentlemen.

> As for the other Heatles... Lowry had some moments I guess, and Adebayo seems to have lost his stark terror of Embiid. Herro hasn't shown up on the road, and the problem with being a deep team with a lot of competent role players is that, well, stars win playoffs.

> Nice of George Niang to be of some utility tonight, and Paul Reed was his usual mix of positivity, but if you can remember a playoff team getting less from its bench, well... I can't. This will eventually be the Sixers' undoing, but for now, every win is a deodorant.

It's a best of 3 now, and Miami has home court with some strong regression to the mean coming for the last two games of 3-point shooting (14 for 65). But every day past the concussion is a better day for Embiid, and Harden just had his best game in months. I have no idea what happens next.

Sixers - Heat Game Three - Masked and Gutty

 > Joel Embiid wearing a mask and nursing a thumb is still one of the best defensive bigs on the planet, and a major reason why the Heat and Bam Adebayo were cracking backboards all night. If he keep recovering, and 18/11 is a mighty fine floor, this is a series. If he goes out again, it's not. Pretty simple, really. And his defensive energy late, in a game where he probably played too many minutes, was encouraging. 

> This game will be remembered for the fourth quarter of Maxey Time, and if the kid ever put together entire game stretches, he'd be the best guard in the league. Just electric in the open court and adorable everywhere. You can get a little frustrating waiting for him to go off, but he pretty much does every game.

> Another good first half from James Harden, followed by another disappearing act in the second, but when Maxey is going off, yes, James, disappear. He's been getting into pretty regular foul trouble, just another thing that happens when you get older and the refs don't give you nearly as many breaks. I'm hoping the man is managing his conditions and doing what he can to fill the tank, but if ever a man needed to go full plant-based and humorless, it might be James. Which is just a shame, because he's so weird and original in every other way, but it's a very hard game played by athletic maniacs.

> I know this is just what happens in playoff basketball, but how many dirtbags play for the Heat? Between Trent Tucker, who in no way resembled a basketball player, and Kyle Lowry, they made ESPN serenade rockhead plays and dirty bullspit all over the floor, and the pace of this game was interminable. Seriously, eff these guys. If this is what winning playoff basketball is about, we need to officiate this game differently.

> Danny Green remains an absurd collection of positive and negative. Tonight he was good from the arc and insane in lots of other places. You can manage him when he's the former, but he's still the weirdest wing ever, honestly.

> First time in seemingly months where Matisse Thybulle had good moments, but the Heat still rode Jimmy Butler and Tyler Herro for vast stretches. If they can get him back to playable it's a help, because it's not as if this team is deep.

> You should not be able to use a borderline straight arm. After six games of watching Pascal Siakam do this nonsense, honestly, enough -- and the fact that the refs got to blow the call twice after a challenge was special.

> For the Heat, just a rock fight of a game, with a near season-low. Some of that is Embiid and some of that is hard effort by the other Sixers, but they still missed a lot of makable shots tonight. They probably aren't thrilled right now, but they also might not be too worried.

> Miami showed one of their weaknesses tonight -- too many soldiers, not enough generals. In a road game where they could have put the hammer down, only Butler and Herro played well, with Adebayo in particular coming up small against opposition. It's nice to have a bunch of guys who can make threes when the luck is running, but when the air gets tight? Not so much. The Sixers' 4th best player, Tobias Harris, was totally fine tonight. The Heat's 4th best player was... I have no idea.

Next game is Sunday night, where the Sixers try to tie the series and put the fear of God into both Heat fans. I think they'll probably spit the bit because they have been a terrible home team much of the year, but it's not hard to imagine Better Joel in two more days after a concussion. See you there then.

Sixers - Heat Game Two: They Made Tyrese Bleed

 > Well... just sad, really.

> The Sixers hung around for most of the night but never got over the hump, never made their runs seem truly threatening, and went meekly into the night as soon as Miami decided to turn up the pressure in the fourth. This was a game between two playoff teams with limited ceilings, and the Heat just are closer to theirs. Especially when the Sixers are without the actual MVP.

> Best game ever for DeAndre Jordan in a Sixers uniform, in that he resembled a basketball player and the game didn't become a runaway when he was in it. Feel free to retire now and go out on top, DJ.

> Just an utter joy, Tyrese Maxey is. He's going to be the best player on the team in less than five years. If he's one of the best players in the league, the Sixers will have a chance to matter post-Embiid. But when he got a cut with 10 minutes left and his flurry stopped, so did the team.

> Another solid and decisive night for Tobias Harris where, well, he didn't rebound enough to make the other positives matter. It's nice to have a big who doesn't bite on every fake or watch the guy blow by him, and when he's making 3s, I almost like him despite his contract. If he's your fourth best player, you have a chance. He'll put up a lot of empty calorie numbers for some other team soon.

> The national media wants to tell the story that this is all James Harden's fault, because James Harden looks weird and has gotten himself off two bad franchises (and maybe onto a third?) in the Stars are GMs phase of the NBA. It's nice when one team loses and the other team doesn't win. 

This ignores the fact that Harden's not the guy missing corner 3 after corner 3, that he's not the guy tasked with, and totally failing to, stop Tyler Herro (that's Matisse Thybulle, who pretty much stopped being an NBA player once the world learned he was unvaccinated, because the unvaccinated are just total losers in life and especially in sports)... but, well, fine. Harden needs to lose weight, get a full training camp, become a ascetic and probably also shave, at which point White America will say he finally gets it. Dude is a 33 year old point guard; that usually does not work, folks. Even if he stays home every night while reading his Bible. And by the way, they got him for a max contract player who is increasingly looking like he'll never play pro basketball ever again.

> First game I've ever seen Paul Reed not get in foul trouble. He made a handful of wildly helpful plays, but needs to finish more strongly at the rim, not bite on every pump fake, and go back to 8-10 minutes a game. As soon as possible.

> In the time it took you to read this, Danny Green missed a three. So did George Niang. (Solid moment chirping when you made your only shot in two games, George. FFS.) When your best bench players are Reed and Furkan Freaking Korkmaz, you aren't winning an NBA game. You might not be winning a game in leagues on other continents.

> Does Doc Rivers want to be here? Well, for the second straight game, he played pretty much everyone, called a lot of zone and timeouts, and seemed actually offended by bad officiating. So, maybe. Let's wait and see if he snarls at the media some more before we get all kumbaya about this. At least he can't lose a 3-1 lead in this series.

> Will Philly make this a series by holding home court in Game 3? I'd love to and it's possible -- Miami is really not that good, folks -- but I'm not seeing it. This team has been terrible in big sports at home all year, Embiid reportedly can only now take his phone on bright mode, and the thing that they do worst on defense (close out on 3-point shooters) is the thing that Miami takes the most advantage of. 

See you there then, when Joel tries to play winning ball while wearing a face mask, sunglasses, thumb guard and a week of court rust. No problem.

Sixers - Heat Game One: Fun Then Really Not

> To start the game, Doc Rivers decided that the corpse of Deandre Jordan, who has not been good at any point in his time in this laundry and who played just a few seconds in the last series, needed to start. Miami took a big early lead and every Sixer fan remembered why they hate Doc Rivers.

> But after some of the better minutes of Paul Reed's short career, as well as some downright manly work by Tobias Harris, the Sixers actually led at the half by one. They also should have led by more, but two terrible calls took three free throws away from James Harden, and gave three free throws to Tyler Herro.

> After three quarters of a road game where they couldn't rebound or make a three pointer while missing their best player, the Sixers were down 8. The fact that this game was close for as long as it was tells you Miami's ceiling isn't past the next round.

> And in the fourth, the game went to Sweet Georgia Brown mode, as the Sixers hoisted up no-chance 3-pointers and gave up every second-chance bucket that Miami could hope for. 

> Full marks for Harris, who still doesn't rebound or get enough loose balls, but does everything else really, really well. Why Doc Rivers couldn't stick with the smallball 5 lineup with him that worked in the first half, we'll never know; it's not like the Philly bigs were rebounding or defending worth a damn.

> If you were hoping for an old-time Harden game in this one, um, nope. He just doesn't have it in him at this point in his career, at least not without an actual big threat to pass to, and no, the dunk or two a game that Jordan might manage does not count.

> George Niang was the worst Sixer on the floor on a night where Jordan and Paul Milsap played minutes that mattered. That's hard to do.

> Paul Reed is totes adorable, but he can't stay on the floor because he tries for everything and gets whistled for looking weird. Bless his heart, he is an actual basketball player and if Rivers had given him 800 minutes this year this might be better by now, but nope, we had to see what we had in Jordan and Milsap. FFS.

> An actual Charles Bassey sighting late! Next game, make him the back up to Reed and play five guys with a pulse, rather than Nobody Mind The Zombie Minutes (aka, Jordan and Milsap). And if Rivers had put Bassey in at the same time he entered this game in Toronto, they would have had Joel Embiid in the same state as the rest of the team tonight. Not that I'm bitter with really good reason.

> The next game is Wednesday, where Bam Adebayo will continue to feast on scrubs, Tyler Herro will continue to show that Matisse Thybulle is less than worthless now, and Rivers will play the entire roster without regard to eyesight, just so he can say he tried everything. Can't wait!

The Sixers - Heat Pick: Goddamn It

Reasons to pick the Sixers: Played one of their best games in the last contest. No longer in the realm of Oh Man You're Gonna Choke. Have played much better on the road than at home this year, so a lack of home court isn't deadly. James Harden will be rested and seems healthy. Tobias Harris is playing his best ball of the year. Tyrese Maxey has been electric. They match up well with Miami, and have beaten them without Joel Embiid this year. Paul Reed could surprise. Miami could sleep on a home game for long enough to let Maxey and Harden steal a game. They are playing with house money, especially with Embiid out.

Reasons to dodge the Sixers: They are going to give actual minutes that matter to Deandre Jordan. (Charles Barkley: "He's still alive?") Embiid will miss at least the first two games and when he does come back, will play with an orbital face mask, and that hasn't worked well for him in the past. (Plus, um, still, the thumb.) Reed won't avoid foul trouble. 

Reasons to pick the Heat: The Sixers won't have Embiid for at least the first two games. Repeat that a half dozen times. They'll force enough turnovers to make this series unwatchable for Sixers Fan, a lot. Bam Adebayo will dominate without Embiid around. Eric Spoelstra is a better coach than Doc Rivers, and it's not by a little. They have depth and confidence and the home court. They also are more rested.

Reasons to dodge the Heat: They aren't coming in totally healthy, either. The refs might decide to just say the hell with it, we hate everyone in this series with the puling, and mass suspensions could turn it into a what the hell is going on kind of series. This a #1 seed with a high floor and a low ceiling, and those kinds of #1 seeds tend to lose around this part of the playoffs.

The pick: Heat in six, just so the Sixers can give their fans one last reason to dread going to games. Embiid's injury gives everyone enough reason to want to run it back one more year, maybe without "He's Still Alive?" options at backup center, and a bench that has better options than Furkan "I Have No Idea Why This Guy Is Still In The NBA" Korkmaz. (And yes, I would have picked the Sixers until Embiid got hurt, and yes, I kind of blame Rivers for having him in a blowout.)