Pound Sterling

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So there's a piece today from NBA commissioner Adam Silver, who says that he can't say for certain when Donald Sterling will be out of the NBA.

Um, Adam?

I'm a huge fan, honest. The fact that you look like Skeletor but aren't David Stern will be enough for me for at least five years, and your immediate smackdown on The Even Worse Donald will work for a long damned time.

But now is not the time to start treating this man as if he's anything but the walking embodiment of cancer. (And by the way, can't we do something to hurry his cancer along?)

So when you say things like, "I can say with certainty that we are doing everything in our power to move Donald out as an owner in the NBA."

Um, no.

Try this on for size instead.


"Until the ownership is changed, the NBA will not manufacture or sell any Clipper merchandise."


Not enough?

"As long as Donald Sterling is the owner of the Clippers, they will have no games on TNT, ESPN, ABC, NBA.tv, or NBA League Pass. We will also not make their highlights available to the media."

Or maybe this.

"If Donald Sterling is the owner of the Clippers at the start of the 2014 season, the team will forfeit its draft picks for the next five years."

Not macho enough?

"If Donald Sterling is the owner of the Clippers at the start of the NBA season, the team will be denied entry at every NBA arena, and none of their games will be played. The games will be ruled as official forfeits."

Or, in the immortal words of Mike Ermantraut... no half measures.

"If Donald Sterling is the owner of the Clippers, the NBA will contract the team, and declare all of the players free agents. To staff the league's 30th team, the Association will reinstate Seattle or Vancouver, and the new team will play its games in the Pacific Division."

He's going to sue you until the day he dies, boss. There's no way to get around that. So stop playing softball, take the gloves off, and make everyone he controls unemployed.

You're in the fight of the Association's life, with a universally reviled figure that, if let to his own devices, will cause your league's players to have to enter into a netherworld of no-win politics.

Take him down, by any means necessary. Let everyone involved know that you will act to devalue this franchise as much as possible, and that the sanctions will not magically go away when he sells, so that the resale value will stay down. Promote a D-League franchise to take their place. Grow a pair.

Because heaven knows this asshat has got nothing better to do with his time than to think he's the most persecuted putz on the planet. And he's going to think that whether he is or not...

Sadly for Heat Haters, All Is Not Lost

Preach, Brother Pat, Preach

So here's the money quote from Pat Riley on losing LeBron James to the Cavs.

"No one can fault another person for wanting to return home."

See that? No Comic Sans, no plantation style petulance, no recriminations or need to talk ill will. No salting the earth for the next big money FA to come in and deal with, either. And it takes just that right bit of nasty in your own mind to hear the condescension, just for the home crowd, no? Baby Bron needed to go home to his binky!

Riles then followed up with this:

"I remain committed to doing whatever it takes to win and compete for championships for many years to come. We've proven that we can do it and we'll do it again."

Um... well, sure, that's what you are saying publicly. And it's not as if Miami stopped being a fun place to play, or Florida started having state income tax, or winter weather that involves a lot of snow removal. The fact that Riles didn't throw a rod publicly doesn't hurt, either.

But Riles is 69 now, and showed in his tone-deaf post-defeat press conference that his old-school tough love approach is out of keeping with the modern partnership approach that dominates the NBA. James and his quasi-contemporaries (Chris Paul, James Harden, Carmelo Anthony) aren't going for long-term deals or rest and vest contracts. They are full-bore competitors who see themselves as independent contractors and brands, not locked to any team, because that's just the natural outgrowth of where the game has gone.

When James' career is over, they will count the rings, just as they do with Shaq and Kobe and Wade and the rest. If he has to travel to get them, so be it; team loyalty is something that the olds and rubes care about a lot more than, well, the players and writers. (All of whom, it seems, would rather be GMs.) The fact that he chose wisely in Miami will, in time, add to his legacy, not subtract. (Consider, for an instance, how Charles Barkley might be remembered if he were just better at picking his clubs. Or how Karl Malone's last year as  Laker is so evocative of his sad old self. But I digress.)

So there is no plan for Miami to assume the fetal position next year. Chris Bosh resigned, and they got back Mario Chalmers (surprising, that) and Chris Anderson. It would not surprise me in the least if all of those guys get off to hot spite starts next year with more touches and a lot to prove. They brought in Luol Deng, and while he's on the wrong side of his career and has a lot of tread on the tires, he's a hell of a lot better than Shane Battier, who is a lot kinder than noting he's a hell of a lot worse than James. At least they won't be criminally thin any more. A starting lineup of Chalmers, Wade, Deng, Josh McRoberts and Bosh should win at least 45 games in the lEast, and that's actually a top-flight forward rotation. And there's actual bench options now.

Maybe they get something out of one more year of "recovery" Greg Oden, or the light bulb goes off for Michael Beasley. They also have Danny Granger, Norris Cole and Rashard Lewis; one or more of those guys could blossom with more touches and minutes. Ray Allen probably isn't sticking around, but if he is, there are worse guys to shoot threes off your bench. I don't think very much of Shabazz Napier's game, but some do, and maybe he pushes Cole and Chalmers. And if Wade can get mutant baby stem cells put into his knees...

Well, let's not kid ourselves; they've got the look of a 5 through 8 seed and honorable first round exit team, at least in a good conference. But keep in mind that they only need to be better than Orlando (easy), Atlanta (same), Charlotte (meh) and Washington (intriguing, but far from seasoned) to win the division and be no worse than third in the conference. And maybe Erik Spoelstra has more to him than that. Remember, Phil Jackson takes the non-Jordan Bulls with Toni Kukoc and Scottie Pippen to the Eastern Conference Finals in what might have been his best coaching job ever.

A similar deep run, and maybe vengeance moments against the Cavs, could be in the cards. (By the way, despite the influx of talent, the Cavs are a lot less likely to have home court in the playoffs, seeing how they need to get through the long knives of Chicago and Indiana, and to a much lesser extent, Detroit and Milwaukee.) Home court matters a lot more to noobs, and if nothing else, watching Wade get in his usual shocking thuggery against James might qualify as more than a little fascinating.

And then, just like the Knicks, and maybe even the Bulls and Cavs, the Heat will be back in prime position to add that Quality Piece (James off the 12-month opt-out, with Cleveland Fan having the Woe Is Us Freakout to end all freakouts? Kevin Durant? Marc Gasol, who would solve their interior issues in a pen stroke?) to get back over the hump.

Again, Riles is 69. Wade spent the Finals playing like it. Your surest bet is entropy and apathy and things falling apart without the lynch pin. If Wade is spent, this team has no good answers at 2 to serve in his footsteps, and no on-court leadership that's been proven to step it up when things are going wrong.

But again... it's the lEast. And a lot of the guys who will be wearing Heat gear in the fall won a lot of games in the last four years, a lot of those with defense that isn't entirely James-specific.

I just don't think we're quite done with Miami yet.

Oh, and Riles might be a vampire. Seriously, look at that picture again. Dude just needs some incisors and he's good to go...

Carmelo's Going To Do What He Wants, And He's Going To Get Paid

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So the next biggest free agent domino on the board, Carmelo Anthony, decided to take the max money to stay in New York and twiddle his thumbs for a year. The story is that Anthony believes that Phil Jackson can build the roster in 2015, when Amar'e Stoudarmire's ruinous deal comes off the books, and they can target Marc Gasol, Kevin Durant and heaven knows who else. And if you believe that, I believe that I have real estate you need to buy.

The choice seems to have come down to staying in New York as the only guy in town that casual fans can name, and Chicago, who seemed like the next best hope to stop LeBron James and whatever jersey he's wearing from going to the Finals as the lEastern representative. Especially now that they've got Pau Gasol to be a better big option than Carlos Boozer. I kind of love the Bulls now, with Joakim Noah joining Gasol to give them spectacular passing bigs, and the dreamer's chance that Derrick Rose won't explode in a stiff breeze. Toss the underrated Jimmy Butler and Taj Gibson into the mix, and the always scheming Tom Thibodeau, and you've got some hope that Thibs will squander by not developing a bench. The East is special that way, really.

But to be honest, I always had a hard time imagining that Anthony was going to go to a defense-first team and smaller media market, along with uprooting his family and leaving an ancestral home where people don't, well, call him on loafing on defense and jacking up a ton of shots. If this man really cared about winning, you'd have to think that he'd have done more of it by now.

My biggest issue here is all of the happy horseflop about how this makes the Knicks a better destination for future FAs of note. There's one other thing that needs to be said here: if the Knicks are such a premier free agent destination, why is it that they don't really get them? LeBron James has had two chances to come to Manhattan, and never seriously considered it either time. Chris Bosh never had his name linked to the Knicks. No one's talked about how Anthony has been able to recruit guys to come here. You'd have to think that Pau Gasol would have taken a call from Phil Jackson, or that they would have had an interest in Dwight Howard a few years back, or Luol Deng, or Kevin Love, and so on, and so on.

The biggest names in the NBA want nothing to do with the Knicks, because, um, they aren't stupid. James Dolan is one of the bigger ownership minuses in the NBA, especially now that Donald Sterling is presumed gone, and the franchise's constant dalliance with Isiah Thomas, tabloid headlines and a coaching merry-go-round isn't going away just because some aging well-paid GM part-timer is on the scene to start a book club. This is still a cold place in the winter and an expensive one all year. Anthony took the cash and didn't run, and will live off the good will brought by this act of max cash loyalty to another jack-tastic year of not making anyone around him better.

Oh, and by the way? For all of the machinations back in the media-heavy East, San Antonio has lost no one in free agency. Tim Duncan didn't retire, Boris Diaw and Paddy Mills resigned, and Gregg Popovich decided to stick around. They just won the NBA Title going away, with historic beatdowns of Portland and Miami, and no one in the West has gotten drastically better in free agency to make their road to the Finals harder. So, short of age or injury or disinterest or Pops suddenly developing an unnatural love for Marco Belinelli, whoever wins in the East isn't going to win in the Finals, because the Spurs are really just too smart to pin their future championship hopes on overrated ball hogs.

But by all means, New York, keep telling yourself that every thing is going to be fine, and that the next crop of FAs is coming your way. It's more fun than the truth, which is that Jackson isn't cooking with gas any more, and that Anthony cares more about making money than winning championships.

Play me out, Tom...

Worried Yet, Cleveland?

News today that after the very best day of Cavalier Fan's Life -- the return of the once and future King. LeBron James -- that's there's a turd in the punch bowl. It's the fact, brushed aside for now but certain to come back with a vengeance later, that his deal is only for two years, and he can opt out after a year.

Honest. One year.

And sure, James is committed to Cleveland, and he's written that lovely piece of PR for Sports Illustrated about going home, and look at all that young talent that he's going to mentor!

For, well, at least a year. Twelve good months of mentoring. And training camp doesn't start until October, and the season can end in April, so maybe eight months of mentoring. Quality mentoring.

Assuming, of course, that his new criminally inexperienced at the NBA level coach doesn't run into any issues. Assuming, of course, that Kyrie Irving, who has helped no one get better in his presence despite being a point guard, doesn't have a problem sharing the ball and the play making, and starts actually hitting open catch and shoot jumpers. (He was the second-worst guard in the NBA at that, by the way, in 2013-14. Whoops.) Assuming, of course, that Irving stays healthy, which he hasn't, um, quite so much. Point guards being like that, seemingly.

And that all of those young forwards -- Tristan Thomposn, Anthony Bennett, I'm looking at you -- figure out how to play in a situation where your touches are borderline accidental. Or that your young guards -- Anthony Wiggins, Dion Waiters -- stick around and figure out a role, assuming they all don't go out the door for another star, since the rumors are all about Minnesota loading out Kevin Love before he walks. (In all likelihood, to Golden State.)

Now, I get that the lEast is the place to be to get good fast, and that your path to the Finals is immensely easier in the JV Conference. But note that even veteran talent with Miami, with what turned out to be one of the best coaches in the NBA, didn't work out in Year One. Note also that when things worked in Miami, it was because of outstanding defense across the board. James can defend anyone on the floor, Dwyane Wade when healthy was the best shot blocking 2-guard in the history of the Association, and Chris Bosh was the rare big who could stay on the floor and close out on three point shooters late. This Cleveland team, as currently constituted, has three plus defenders -- James, Wiggins and Anderson Varejao -- and then no one that's even average. (As I'm writing this, the Cavs just got Brendan Haywood from Charlotte, who is probably still OK at defense, given that he's still in the league and was never good at offense. But I digress.)

It takes time to gel as a team in the Association. You can short-circuit that with vets in their prime, as James did with the Heat, and Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen did with the Celtics. With a young team, you usually have to build to it, with losses in deeper and deeper rounds before getting your ring. There's also what happens if James gets his security blanket aging shooters to come to Ohio (Mike Miller, Ray Allen), and if those guys succumb to age and don't work out.

James is 30, with the most miles on his knees ever for a 30-year-old. He wants rings, which means staying in the East. He's repaired his good guy image (as if anyone with a functioning brain was ready to go down the heel-face path of Story Not Game, but that is the world we live in), and he's made the Cavs the early dumb money pick to win the Championship next year. He's the best player in the world, and he should make the Finals, so, well, yeah.

But with the Bulls adding Pau Gasol and (maybe) a healthy Derrick Rose, and no change to the coaching situation, you have to think they will be better than the Cavs for a while. Washington has more time together and a better point guard in John Wall, and it's not like Bradley Beal's terrible. Indiana could be good again, especially if they can figure things out how to get First Half of 2013 Roy Hibbert and Lance Stephenson back. Toronto and Brooklyn and (yeesh) New York are all swinging at it, and there are some secondary free agents out there that could make a difference. With the exception of Playing For The Glorious Future in Philly, there isn't an obvious tank team in the lEast any more. It's going to be better and more wide-open, which means that those 40 minute per game road trips are going to be with James for a while more.

And if it doesn't go well right away, or the Cavs misfire on what appear to be very necessary moves in the immediate future?

James can walk again. In twelve months.

That's the thing about Going Home. Once you've left once, you know you can do it again.

And so does everyone else.

(But then again, I never thought James would leave Miami. And I'm also wondering why Heat Fan isn't blaming Pat Riley, along with James...)

What LeBron's Decision Really Means

Beatdown Imminent

So I've been grinding away on a lot of different things for the past few weeks. There's been two major house projects (painting the Shooter Kids bedrooms, which takes about 5 to 10X longer than estimated), big personal trauma from the passing of a pet, time spent training a new puppy, a lot of personal training because all of that went to the side for a little while during the above...

And so the only sports I've watched are World Cup games, and wrap-up shows ("Olbermann", mostly) that talk about how everyone is going batshit gonzo nutso over how LeBron James has had the temerity to take a long time to figure out where he's going to go with his next contract.

So, in other words, nothing has happened yet. Which is driving everyone crazy, because Something Has To Happen, and Not Knowing is Intolerable. Unless, well, you are a fan of an NBA team that has no chance at James, at which point this hasn't mattered at all.

I root for the Sixers, the owners of the longest-term plan in the history of the Association. By the time my team is ready to make serious noise, James will be 32 at least, and since he didn't go to college and plays some of the most and hardest minutes in the league, with constant deep playoff runs, it's going to be more like 35. He'll still be one of the best players in the world, but no one will think he's still *the* best, because, well, Father Time is undefeated.

I also think he knows this, and even more than wanting to win more rings and try to catch Michael Jordan in the mythical pursuit of Best To Ever Play...

Well, I think he wants to get paid. First. For the biggest amount possible, because there really isn't anyone who should get paid more than him. And then, and only then, will he think very hard about rings, because rings matter more to the rubes than the players.

Tangent time. Because it's on late at night when my world slows down, I'm prone to putting on pro wrestling. One of the guys I like to watch in the WWE is a character by the name of Damian Sandow. He's a low-grade heel who never wins, but he's got a nice way on the mic to draw hate out of crowds, and I've always enjoyed that as a party trick of writing. His current gimmick is to be something local to every town they visit, so when they were in Indiana, he wore a LeBron James jersey, and do on. So he comes out in some bad costume, gets booed for a few minutes, takes the mic to make it worse, and then some tedious hero comes out and cleans his clock.

Now, there are literally thousands of guys, all over the world, that would cut their mothers for Sandow's job. They spend their days in sad little gyms, in front of very few people, with little to no television coverage, for a pittance, all while taking the same kind of punishment. And on some level, Sandow's existence seems sad; nothing but a comedy role, the same kind of nonsense every week, quite aware that you are only in it for the money. But, of course, the money's fantastic.

Which brings me back to James. He's got two rings. So long as he says in the East, he's going to have a good shot at adding one or two more in the next few years, no matter whether he's in Miami or Cleveland. (I'm presuming that these are the only two realistic places for him at this point, and that Carmelo Anthony is just having his small little sad measure of fun by drawing out the possibility that they could team up.)

Oh, and this noise about how the guys who really want to win are taking less money to show you their commitment? Well, then, why not take no money at all? Hell, why not pay the team for the privilege of playing?

Seriously... there is no better management gig in sports than to be an NBA owner. The public is ready to throw the stars under the bus if they get paid. You can amnesty out your worst mistakes. If you gut the club and tank for all that you are worth, the smarks in the audience will applaud you, even if it is more of a smash and grab for revenue sharing, rather than an actual attempt to build a true contender. And if you mishandle a generational talent, people will turn on said talent if he leaves for greener pastures, and you can try to get him back with the fruits of your terrible tanking, lottery aided roster.

Personally, I think James takes a max deal for just two years and stays in Miami. I think the drawn-out nature of the decision is because he's not in love with either option, and that he'd stay with the Heat a lot faster if he thought Dwyane Wade was going to recover... but that he's also not convinced that the Cavs' talent isn't toxic. So you sign for a short time, snap your fingers to get Chris Bosh to not take the Houston offer, enjoy the passing contributions of Josh McRoberts, and hope like hell that the collection of longshot bench talent (Danny Granger, Greg Oden, Shabazz Napier) shakes out to something useful, or that Wade isn't spent. Even if he is, you are probably in the Finals next June with just a little luck, because McRoberts is going to help him a lot, and having James on the roster will always attract a handful of talented guys who want to spend a year shooting open threes and going to the playoffs.

But, well, all of that could have been figured out days ago. So what's the delay?

Well, maybe James just enjoys having the league twist in the wind. Maybe he enjoys knowing that Pat Riley and Dan Gilbert are both going a little insane from this. Maybe there's fun in just torturing ESPN and all of the Twitterverse.

However, there's a really simple way around all of this, folks.

Just, um, find something else to think about.

Honestly, there are plenty of things to think about...