Eagles - Saints Takeaways

Just work harder. That will do it.

> The pre-game strokefest of how good the Eagles feel this week, and why everything's going to be just fine, and how Eagle Fan is just unfair for not being thrilled with a team that's a below .500 pretender, never gets even the least bit tiresome

> Shockingly, the deep ball first play to WR DeSean Jackson didn't catch the Saints by surprise

> For an offense that gets criticized for "playing too fast", they sure do burn a ton of clock on every play

> The Saints defense is so bad, a 5 yard run features defensive players applauding

> I'm kind of shocked that Coach For Life Andy Reid didn't challenge on the (first) obvious TE Brent Celek drop

> If you had 12:09 in the first quarter for first wasted timeout on offense this week, you must have gambled that the team would win the coin toss and not go three and out -- so in other words, you really were playing a long shot

> I don't think I've ever seen an offense call a timeout and still snap the next play in a panic with one second left, but that's just how special this Eagles offense is

> ESPN was very offended by a catch that, by the rules, was a catch

> If I were a Saints fan, I'd be offended by that roughing call, too

> Only Reid calls for a bootleg after his fumble-prone QB gets concussed, watches him get sacked again, then calls a long developing pass one more time

> That's the first 14-play drive with a punt this year, and I'm so glad we got to see it

> DE Trent Cole's run stuff on the first play was nice, in that it reminded us that Cole is still on the team

> As soon as QB Drew Brees made Cole miss, we pretty much knew that the big third down was getting converted

> The 99-yard TAInt with a 15-yard flag added to it just might be the stupidest play in the league this year, but take heart, Eagle Fan... the season isn't even half over

> The Eagles ran for over 100 yards in the first quarter without scoring a point, which is honestly hard to do

> McCoy's big fourth down run was punctuated by a desperate gasp for the end zone, since Shady knew that first and goal from the five could only end in a field goal attempt at absolute best

> Asomugha's whiff on Saints RB Mark Ingram made me wish we still had Asante Samuel, for the tackling

> The Chris Ivory touchdown was about as effortless as you can see at this level, and shows that the back ups are somehow even worse than the starters

> The Riley Cooper penalty shows that Hines Ward, and players like him, can no longer play in the NFL

> When the Eagles defense misses a tackle, they just stay on the ground, because it shows how heartbroken they are about it

> If someone wants to find Asomugha's birth certificate and prove that he's actually 55 years old, that would answer a lot of mystery

> In case you were still wondering if Cole is worth a damn, um, nope, he's not

> The defense made a big mistake by not letting the Saints score sooner at the end of the first half, so the offense could have more time to pile up useless yards and time of possession numbers

> The really sad thing is that the Eagles got blown out in the first half when Brees wasn't even all that sharp

> If Asomugha isn't the prototype player of this era of Eagles football, I'm really not sure who is

> Brandon Graham's first big play of his career saved us, for a little while, from Garbage Time

> The 77-yard TD to DeSean Jackson reminded America that, well, the Saints defense isn't very good at all

> That's kind of the first kickoff coverage play I remember in years, too

> Every time the Eagles went to a no back set tonight, it was pretty much begging for a sack

> In their first three trips to the end zone, the Eagles were down 7-6

> It was nice of the Eagles to give ESPN another half hour of ratings

> The throwback kickoff return for a score that got called back is also a really obvious metaphor moment for the season

> If you need a WR to mouth off after making his first play of the night when down 15 to end the third quarter, Jeremy Maclin is your man

> Whether this defense was once good and just gave up, or whether they were just a fluke that's been exposed, is really the only serious question to ask about now

> Since Babin actually got to Brees and almost forced a turnover, and now leads this punchless bunch of pukes with 3.5 sacks for the year, I guess we can't chant vile things at him any more

> Anyone who thinks the Eagles can run a no-huddle offense hasn't been paying attention for, well, ever

> It's a little off-putting how, after Vick runs out of bounds for a first down, the clock keeps running

> Demetress Bell couldn't have played any worse tonight than if he put on a Saints jersey

> If you've ever seen a worse red zone offense than this Eagles team... well, you've probably watched other Eagles teams

> Celek's fumble to end "suspense" was nice, in that we can now stop telling the story of how he's having a good year

> It's sweet that every Eagles game ends with Vick taking a few more hits when there's no chance of coming back

> Five tips inside the red zone to get outscored 7-6 is something that might never have happened before in football, on any level

> I swear that I am not making this up: the Eagles lost by 15 in a game where they held the ball for 33 minutes, were even in turnovers, and outgained the opponent by 76 yards

> If anyone in Philadelphia still wants to watch this coach and this team, they must be fans of other NFL teams

Fugue You

When I Stopped Caring

In the first half of today's Steelers-Giants game, Pittsburgh QB Ben Roeth- lisberger went back to pass. Pressure came as he threw the ball, and it skittered to the ground in the backfield. The refs blew the call and didn't blow the whistle, so the Giants picked it up and ran it in for a touchdown. As we saw the replay that was even more clear then the real time that the play was a forward pass and not a fumble, I didn't even give the game full attention, it was so obvious that the play would be overturned...

And then, well, it wasn't. Giants touchdown.

Now, eventually the road team was able to use the fact that it, well, was much better than the home team (Eli Manning's 10 for 24 for 125 isn't going to win many games, really) to win a closer than it should have been game, 24-20. But something curious happened to me soon after that play.

I really, truly, stopped caring about the NFL. For the first time ever, and for the better part of an hour. Because I stopped believing in the veracity of the game. Roger Goodell in the house, New York / New Jersey "needing" the win to promote good feelings after Hurricane Sandy, the game being in New Jersey despite fuel shortages and rescue efforts still going on...

Well, other stuff just seemed more important, and better to do. Like, well, anything.

A little background. There's a lovely narrative moment in an episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (don't snicker too hard, it's brilliantly written) in which the hero goes into a fugue/coma state, and can no longer act. Another character enters into her subconsciousness and finds a looped state, which is finally broken when the repeat focuses on a small moment where the protagonist first lost all hope of success. It wasn't anything big or violent or earth-shattering; it was just a point where, well, something small and profound was realized. And in that moment, the seed of profound and crippling guilt over that lack of commitment was generated, like a ticking time bomb. (It Got Better.) Anyway, you get the point.

At the time of fugue, my fantasy team had the second-most points in the league this week. At the time of fugue, I had hit on a picks parley to make my sports gambling for the week a win, and was still alive on a second ticket. I wound up missing on a 160 to 1 ticket by a single game, and might have one of the best days picking in my time doing that sort of thing. And while I wish ill on the Giants as a general matter of course, due to my Eagles fandom, my Eagles fandom is kind of at low ebb, due to a general disgust for Year 14 of the Five Year Andy Reid Super Bowl Plan. So it's not as if I was consumed by sadness over the Steelers getting shafted. It was just more along the lines of disgust for a fixed game.

So I just stopped watching. I never do that. Instead, I folded laundry, cleaned the kitchen, washed the dishes, ran the puppy around outside. The Shooter Wife, who was under the weather and just kind of watching the game out of the corner of her eye while knitting, let me know that things had changed, so I came back down and tried to get back into my parley root, to not very high impact. The SNF game is on right now, and I'm not watching. I rarely do that, either.

I'm not sure how long this fugue state is going to last, or that it's anything more than an off day or moment. If the Eagles rip off a roaring win in New Orleans tomorrow, I'm sure that I'll be sucked right back into giving a damn about them, and giving a damn about them is likely to recharge the battery for everything else. And if the 160 to 1 payoff had come, i'm sure I'd be over the moon right now.

But right now? Really, not so much.

Because at some point, fandom has to ebb, time has to snap back, satiety has to be achieved.

And when that is realized, and if it stays, there's really only one thing to ask.

What's next?

Top 10 NFL Week 9 Ad Quetions

10) If I use Lowe's for my home painting projects, can I leave my kids alone with paint?

9) Is Pizza Hut's willingness to substitute clearly inadequate products something of a tell?

8) Why is Apple so interested in making sure that we're all prostitutes when you use our computers?

7) If I am a Geico customer, am I in some way complicit for Gallagher not becoming homeless just yet?

6) Are iPad Mini buyers required to play one finger piano that no one in their right minds wants to hear?

5) Is there a special level of hell where you see nothing but political campaign ads?

4) Will the "Red Dawn" reboot finally let rednecks feel closure about the Cold War?

3) Are American Express owners complete idiots about keeping hold of their valuables?

2) What other things that never happen does Farmers' cover?

1) Doesn't the E*Trade baby's ability to talk and be in a wedding party just mean that he's a slacker that likes sitting in his own filth, and that similar judgments can be delivered for all of the service's users?

And two for the bonus...

If the only difference between being naughty and nice is the color of your Mercedes Benz, why hasn't society completely broken down?, and...

Can the special level of hell for political campaign ads also extend to Christmas ad campaigns that start in the first week of November?

NBA 2012-13 Season Predictions

Dat'sa Me!

Sorry for the delay in this: a freaking hurricane made my life inconvenient. Once more with the clicking of the ads, please.

The East

Miami 58-24
Chicago 55-27
Boston 51-31
Philadelphia 49-33
Brooklyn 47-35
Indiana 45-37
Atlanta 43-39
Cleveland 38-44

Milwaukee 34-48
Toronto 30-52
Detroit 28-54
Washington 26-56
Orlando 24-58
Charlotte 16-66

Miami over Cleveland, Chicago over Atlanta, Boston over Indiana, Philadelphia over Brooklyn.

Miami over Philadelphia, Chicago over Boston, Miami over Chicago.

First Team: LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Al Horford, Kevin Garnett and Joe Johnson
Second Team: Jrue Holiday, Josh Smith, Rajon Rondo, Kyrie Irving and Roy Hibbert
Rookie of the Year: Dion Waiters
Coach of the Year: Tom Thibodeau
All-Bust Team: Nene, Andrea Bargnani, Monta Ellis, Danny Granger and Andrew Bynum

The West

Oklahoma City 61-21
San Antonio 55-27
LA Clippers 54-28
LA Lakers 50-32
Portland 48-34
Denver 47-35
Houston 45-37
Utah 44-38

Dallas 43-39
Memphis 42-40
Golden State 37-45
Minnesota 36-46
Phoenix 35-47
New Orleans 25-57
Sacramento 22-60

Oklahoma City over Utah, San Antonio over Houston, Denver over Clippers, Lakers over Portland.

Oklahoma City over Denver, Lakers over San Antonio, Oklahoma City over Lakers

Miami over Oklahoma City

First Team: Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul, Al Jefferson and Dwight Howard

Second Team: Kobe Bryant, Blake Griffin, Ty Lawson, James Harden and Serge Ibaka

Comeback Player of the Year: Derrick Rose

Most Valuable Player:James

Rookie of the Year: Anthony Davis

Coach of the Year: Tom Thibodeau

All-Bust Team: Nene, Andrea Bargnani, Monta Ellis, Danny Granger and Andrew Bynum

* * * * *

Yes, this is very much a chalk board, but the sad fact of the Association is now a chalk league. Miami and Oklahoma City are in their prime and entering their prime, respectively, and aren't going anywhere. San Antonio has great young talent to keep their front-line studs fresh. Chicago will hold their own in a weak conference, then get back Derrick Rose for the stretch run. The Clippers will be better than last year with their young bigs growing into defensive awareness and a little more of a post game. Boston and the Lakers have issues, but aren't going under 50 wins. There really isn't a surprise team that's poised to break the 50 win mark and be relevant, just as there really isn't an older team that's going to fall apart.

Now, all of that sounds pretty predictable and boring... but it's really not that way. We're going to see a ton of great games, with plenty of teams that are going to jell over the year, and unlike last year's weird sprint season, you won't have so many injuries and dead games where the schedule bones a club. Quality of play is going to go up, and there's going to be better games all over the schedule.

Anyway, those are the predictions; use in good health.

And if you really must have a deep sleeper to throw a Finals prop bet on... it's the Clippers. Chris Paul in a potential walk year is not to be underestimated, they are deeper and more cohesive, and they are no longer wasting meaningful minutes on dead enders like Reggie Williams and Nick Young. (From the East, it's my Sixers, even though I don't think they are going to get nearly what they are expecting from Andrew Bynum, at least not until later in the year. But when they do, it's a redux of the Dwight Howard Magic team, where the power guy benefits from a ton of solid work from the arc... but only if Bynum buys into ball movement. This club may be better, shudder, with Spencer Hawes at times. )

Change You Can Believe In

Make the switch

So with the Brooklyn Nets about to make their debut -- and yes, it should have happened already, but once a century hurricanes are not to be denied -- there's all kinds of noise over whether or not its OK for long-suffering Knicks fans to shed their team allegiance for the shiny new club.

As you might imagine, I have some opinions about this.

First and foremost -- if you have the flexibility to change your allegiance as an adult without wild swings of cognitive dissonance... I envy you. Immensely.

When I was a tween and the Ron Jaworski Eagles were in decline, my family remained huge Eagles fans. Those were lean and awful years, with the Cowboys, Redskins and Giants taking turns winning it all, and my naive childhood dreams of Philadelphia being a City of Champions (seriously, look at what happened from 1976 to 1982, and then the five years after of horror)... well, I still watched every game and died with them. But I also started to root for the Packers (great jerseys, fun teams, crazy snow visuals, etc.), and then the Niners, mostly because they were the teams that you had to root for if you didn't want to see the Skins, Giants and Cowboys win.

Had I gone from dalliance to fandom for either of those franchises, my football fandom for the past two decades would have been immensely better. Instead of a seemingly endless collection of Detmers and overly cautious or overly turnover prone false contenders, I'd have been wallowing in the Montana-Favre-Young-Rodgers eras, which is to say, four guys who are all going to Canton for more than the tour. Instead of multiple NFC championship title losses and a single Super Bowl loss, I'd have my pick of over a half dozen title runs, and both teams have employed quality linebackers in the past ten years with actually sane levels of run-pass ratio.

Instead, um, I got Andy Reid. So, um, yay me.

Now, it hasn't been all bad: for much of the century, only the Giants have had a better time watching their club in the division, there were actual playoff wins and contention of a sort, and there were rarely years in which the start was devoid of hope. So while I'm envious of other team's fans, I don't really have a good reason to just change my affiliation.

Knicks fans? Oh dear heaven, do you have more cause.

First off is location; if you live in Brooklyn, you have a team now, for the first time in 50+ years. Embrace them. Outside of the borough, it's a little sketchier, but that's where the Knicks work their magic.

From Eddy Curry to Isiah Thomas to the Jeremy Lin travesty, this franchise has done nothing -- nothing -- but play the fans like marks at the world's worst carnival. And at the highest prices in the Association. One playoff win -- one! in forever! in an Association where over half of the teams go every year! -- in this century, and that was a 3-0 save face moment against a disinterested Heat team. Ted Dolan isn't elderly, tied in with some deus ex machina Madoff scam, or, well, going anywhere, This is a swamp of eternity, to the point where many Knicks loyalists feel stupid to stay.

Now, the other side.

Changing your fandom is unnatural. You'll feel self-conscious about it for a long time, and dislike many of the come-lately fans around you, especially if you are past a certain age. Especially for a franchise like the Nets, who have been cursed historically and are more or less tossing the last 35 years in the dumpster (despite, well, much more playoff success than the Knicks, thanks to the Jason Kidd years), the sense of Instant Invention is off-putting.

Secondly, there's a very real possibility that all you are doing in going from the Knicks to the Nets is taking a shinier ride to nowhere. That Joe Jackson contract is a killer, Deron Williams is already talking about bone spurs in his feet that are going to limit him all year, Brook Lopez might be the worst rebounding 7-footer in recent NBA history, and the brain trust of Billy King and Crazy Russian Owner doesn't exactly scream out long-term growth. I like the Nets' talent this year, and I still don't see them getting a home court edge in the playoffs or going deep. Being a Brooklyn Nets fan might never be any better than right now, when they still haven't actually played a game.

Having said all of that, to me, the choice is clear. The Nets have hope. The Knicks do not. The Nets have an owner that may learn from his mistakes. The Knicks have an owner that is a mistake. The Nets have a fan base that isn't going to be couched in old money and defeat, in a market where shiny is more important than winning.

So, if you live in New York, and you can... by all means, run, do not walk, away from the Knicks.

But run there once, and don't come back if the Knicks are somehow better this year. You get to make this move once, not twice.