FTT Review: Make It Or Break It

So the Shooter Eldest has started gymnastics class, and in the effort to support that decision and allow for as much mockery as possible, I've found a series on Netflix Instant that's made her, very, very happy. That show is ABC Family's "Make It Or Break It", a teen soap opera around the efforts of teen female gymnasts trying to become gold medalists.

It is a ripe and steaming hunk of cheese, it is, and no, you should not watch it. I am not going to become one of Those Writers that extoll the virtue of 20-something actresses playing 16-something girls. But if you are a father of a kid who likes drama and gymnastics, it's absolute crack. And here's why:

> Ridiculously easy Mystery Science Theater opportunities, all over the place

> Easily hated people, without nuance or shreds of humanity

> Loads of past-their-prime actresses in paper-thin guest roles (why hello, Counselor Troi! The years have not been kind!)

> Transparently predictable plots where poor behavior is almost inevitably crushed -- no troublesome discussions afterwards over how life isn't fair

> Bending over backwards treatments of conservative Christian viewpoints and values, because that's just the kind of realism that happens when there's money on the line

> Snotty teens getting the final word, in perhaps the greatest moment of tween wish fulfillment

> Lots and lots of obvious cutaways from where the actresses are working, and where the stand-ins are doing the actual gymnastics (sometimes, not even with the same height or hair color)

> Fathers more or less being treated like cardboard cutouts, in terms of actually getting their way in any disagreement

> Acting that is so over-the-top that I'm not sure there is a top, and

> My personal favorite, actors that aren't anywhere near age-appropriate (25-year-old teens with 35-year-old moms)

Anyway, give it a spin, or a very wide berth, depending on your needs. As for me, I'll go back to mocking eating disorders, telling my eldest that I WILL NOT OK THE CORTISONE SHOT!, and becoming convinced that anything on this earth can be overcome with the proper up-tempo montage and girl power hugs. Anything at all, really...